The Riverbank

Thanks mainly to the Covid pandemic it’s taken years, but on Friday we were finally able to officially open our Riverbank Relatives Room in Causeway Hospital. The entire project was funded by Macmillan in NI from our Triciafest fundraising. It was a very small event due to ongoing restrictions in hospital environments, but we were able to invite a few guests. Unfortunately my father-in-law contracted covid so couldn’t make it, and there were a few more who were busy with other commitments, but those who were there all hold a special place in my heart. There were Macmillan nurses, Trust nurses, representatives from our annual gig venue, and a few genuine friends(although genuine friends really describes the previously named groups too). Not to mention my big sister……the person who’s support we simply couldn’t have done without over the past nearly six years, particularly during my treatment. My husband had just started a new job and was employed through an agency when I was diagnosed, so he was limited in the amount of time he could take off without leaving us bankrupt. I can’t begin to imagine how awful it was for him working all day, visiting me in a hospital over 50 miles away in the evenings, and then sleeping in our bed alone, while acting as essentially a single parent to our then 18 year old son who was doing his A-Level exams. All the while worrying if I’d make it through. My sister helped beyond belief. She travelled back and forth from her home in England, making sure she was there as much as she could be, leaving her husband behind and having to catch up on all her missed work in between visits. 

My family are amazing and it was wonderful to celebrate the room opening along with some of them. Unfortunately we lost our dad last year, but I know he’d have absolutely loved it and he’ll have been cheering us on from wherever he is. I’d have loved for him to be there, but the most important thing is that the room is open.

Those who were able to make it were treated to hearing me self consciously mumble some words of thanks whilst tripping over my words in a very obviously unscripted speech that I hadn’t been aware I would be expected to make. I posed awkwardly for photographs and again mumbled and blushed my way through a recorded conversation with the Chief Executive of the Trust. Thankfully I didn’t realise I was being filmed through most of it, so if nothing else it should be obvious I wasn’t playing a part and my comments were entirely authentic…..if somewhat stammered and unglamorously poured out. There was certainly no telephone voice, in fact I wouldn’t be surprised if subtitles are required for those from too far away from the area in which I live!

It was wonderful and a huge weight lifted to have the room formally declared as open, but in fairness it has been in use for a while. A point that was proven to me today when I went for my usual Sunday sea dip. One of my best friends, and fellow dipper, brought along a girl she recently met whilst swimming elsewhere. You can only imagine my surprise when, on introduction, she told me she’d been in the Riverbank Room! Her family had unfortunately found themselves in the hospital with a relative who was at the end of their life. To hear someone who’s been in that situation describe the solace and comfort our wee room had offered them was very special for me. As a former patient I know how noisy and busy hospitals tend to be, by necessity. A curtain around a bed offers nothing more than a veil of privacy and we all know every other person in the ward can hear every word being said. Patients’ families are sitting on hard plastic chairs beside beds, but our room has comfortable reclining ones, and even a sofa bed, in a quiet and friendly environment. The wall murals are stunning and allow some time to relax and imagine yourself somewhere else. If only for a little while, troubles can wait. The room is a place where patients and their families can relax, perhaps get some much needed sleep and maybe even stay overnight to remain close to their loved one. A place to make a cup of tea and remove yourself from the harsh reality of the Wide World for a while. A place where private conversations and contemplations can take place. A place to breathe. A haven.

I remain eternally grateful to everyone who played a part in realising our dream……there’s a huge team of decent and genuine people who continue to support us in our fundraising endeavours, and of course there’s everyone who played their part in saving my life and keep me going when I falter. People I am grateful beyond words to have in my life. The Team. 

While I hope nobody reading this ever has need to be in our local hospital, I also hope they can take some comfort in knowing there is a quiet space for them. If any of you find yourselves in need of it, please find your way to the Riverbank where you will be welcome and safe. 

In truth I think everyone should have regular riverbank time….. get outside, get yourself close to any body of water, be it a river, lough or the sea. Breathe in the air. Relax. Everything is going to work out exactly as it should. 

“….intoxicated with the sparkle, the ripple, the scents and the sounds and the sunlight, [the mole] trailed a paw in the water and dreamed long waking dreams.”

Extract from The Riverbank, The Wind in the Willows, by Kenneth Grahame.