Hubby and I are staying in Venice from today (Monday) to Friday. We are celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary, a year late. In January of this year we were married 26 years, but we didn’t get a chance to celebrate properly last year because we had too many other things on!! The covid pandemic resulted in a lot of music gigs being rescheduled so last year was a busy one. In fairness this year is possibly worse, but we are completely embracing the YOLO attitude.
You Only Live Once, it’s true, but you can nearly die a few times it seems. You can be given an incurable and terminal cancer diagnosis, you can experience phenytoin toxicity and be days from death, you can find yourself directly in the path of a runaway 4x4. None of us know what’s around the corner. Many people say it, but I’m not sure everyone really feels it in their bones. I do. I believe my husband does too. We know what looking Death in the face feels like and each time I’ve stuck out my tongue, blown a raspberry, stuck two fingers up, grabbed my husband’s hand and run off in the other direction, singing ‘not today, oh no, not today’.
This wee blog of mine has always been focussed on positivity, which is why I can be guilty of making it all sound so easy and stress free. The reality is very different. I’m not a hero. I’m not an inspiration. I’m fortunate and I’m very well supported. Sometimes I lie in bed with my heart pounding, wondering if my brain tumour is coming back, terrified a seizure is imminent. I have been so excited about this trip to Italy that I’ve spent much of the last week catastrophising about everything that could go wrong. Thankfully I can already tick some of this possibilities off the list……
- I didn’t become unwell and neither did anybody else. There were no dramas that made travel impossible.
- We didn’t sleep in. Despite my complete inability to sleep last night. We booked one night plus parking for the time we’re away at an airport hotel. It was nice. Clean. Comfortable. Convenient.
We had to be up at 04:15 to get our complimentary shuttle bus to the airport in time for our flight. I settled down early. Hubby was watching the James Bond film Octopussy. Plenty of gunfire, shouting and music, but I was comfy enough to doze. When the film ended he turned the TV off. I could hear what sounded like a fan blowing. Annoying, but I assumed it was linked to the bathroom light and would go off after a short time.
Some time later it was still going. It was completely intolerable to me. Like white noise or water torture. I spent some time deciding it was probably some sort of air temperature management unit in the room and I should ignore it and go to sleep. I then spent some more time realising that there was no way I could sleep with it on. Finally I spent yet more time trying to turn it off, with the help of the light from my phone screen. Unsurprisingly, hubby work up, despite my best efforts to be quiet. He didn’t curse at me for being a pain. He didn’t laugh at me when I told him the noise of the air con was driving me mad and that it kept going, even when I turned it off at the wall control. He hugged me when I started to cry and lamented how tired I was, how we needed to get some sleep, and how sore my head was becoming. He reassured me I was right that it was still whooshing despite definitely being turned off, that I wasn’t going mad.
Eventually it stopped. I’ve no idea what time it was but I suspect it was around 01:30 or so. Thankfully we both slept and I awoke feeling better than expected.
- We got through check in and boarded our flight at Dublin Airport without any problems……..in fairness it made Belfast International look like a Fisher Price airport.
Granted, we haven’t landed safely yet, but I’m feeling fairly confident.
- My head hasn’t exploded, despite my buzzing ears and the pain across the bridge of my nose.
We are currently flying over The Alps and I have a few tears in my eyes. We are close to starting our descent and I have survived the longest flight I’ve been on since my diagnosis. What a wonderful adventure I am on, and it’s with the best man in the whole world. We are flying over The Alps! We are going to Venice! We are alive!
I won’t arrive in Italy looking glamorous and carefree. I will arrive in Italy a bit red eyed, and a little scruffy, wheeling my new bright red child’s suitcase covered in hearts with an image of Mickey and Minnie Mouse kissing emblazoned on the front. I will arrive in Italy looking like me and I’ll be damned happy to be there!
You Only Live Once. You don’t have to be stylish to live life in style!! Do it your way xx
