As ever, December and January have been fairly rough, although they haven’t been without joyful times too.
My regular MRI scan was fairly uneventful. I’m waiting for my official results, but have had an appointment with my Oncologist and everything seems to remain quiet and stable.
Unfortunately he also answered me honestly when I asked if it was possible to beat my diagnosis…….. my own fault for asking a stupid question…. It seems the meaning of ‘terminal and incurable’ remains the same. This reminder came hot on the heels of a psychologist telling me I have PTSD. In fairness, she also told me I manage it very well and she wasn’t worried about me. It seems my irreverence to, and joking about, my diagnosis, is all symptomatic of the PTSD, but that’s a coping mechanism that seems to be working.
Nothing particularly unexpected in any of these appointments to be honest. But probably a wee bit too much reality within a short space of time. After around 24 hours of overthinking, hubby and I found ourselves a bit overwhelmed and had a bit of a slump in our moods.
We picked each other up, partially by booking a long weekend break in Marbella the evening of our first day back at work after the Christmas break!! We go in a few weeks and it has certainly lifted our spirits.
Not content with all of this drama, we’ve had two large storms back to back. My wee brain does not love storms so I’ve been dealing with the usual headaches, bunged up sinuses and whooshing ears.
All fairly rubbish. BUT in the middle of it all, I’ve had quality time with my wonderful husband, I’ve sea dipped with my sea sistas, I’ve met up with old school friends, and I’ve been reminded of the wonderful people I have in my life.
Not to mention the fact that I am still very much alive and beating the odds. Just 27% of people with my diagnosis make it to five years. Sometimes it’s easy to look at that in a negative light……’any day now’…….but we don’t let that thought hang about. Better to think of it as confirmation my time has not come. Sure what do stats mean anyway?? Who knows what’s around the corner for any of us? Treatment breakthroughs are imminent in respect of a number of neurological conditions, including Parkinson’s disease and some types of brain tumours. We continue to remind ourselves that I keep very well, there’s no indications of a return, and that we are incredibly fortunate to have each other to lean on. We work. We play. We have a good life. Our 2024 diary is already bursting at the seams, with short breaks, gigs and fun times.
We have each other and together we can conquer the world.
Living with….xx
