- Maybe they haven’t spoken to anyone all day. I can’t count how many times I’ve spoken to an older person at the supermarket and they’ve told me that……I was the first person they’d spoken to all day.
- They might have stories to tell. Yesterday my husband spoke to an older gentleman who told the story of his life….. from his near drowning in a burn at four years of age, through to being in hospital for six months after being hit by a car. Last weekend I met a lady in an airport whose brother had murdered his wife and their two young children before taking his own life. She talked of the difficulty of coping with her grief whilst in the midst of a police investigation and knowing the whole town was talking about her and her family.
Smile
- It shows you’re approachable, thereby helping with the previous points.
- As Spike Milligan taught us, it’s contagious and makes others smile.
- It’ll make you feel happier, even if you hadn’t been feeling that way before you started smiling.
- It makes you prettier.
Fight for your rights
Whether it be your right to party, like The Beastie Boys taught us, or your right to something a bit more serious. And by ‘fight’, I don’t mean in a ‘put ‘em up’ kind of way, I just mean be able to live your life in an inoffensive manner whilst remaining true to your own principles. So fight/ defend your right/ don’t feel the need to keep apologising. Be comfortable in yourself and defend you rights…..
- Your right to grieve your way. It doesn’t have to follow a set pattern. See the Kubler-Ross Cycle of Grief for more.
- Your right to have an opinion. Provided it’s not small minded, judgemental or offensive.
- Your right to say no. Never feel apologetic for not wanting to do something. As the saying goes…..those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.
- Your right to dance. In a Footloose type way, I believe music and dancing are good for the soul. Last week, whilst on a short break to Spain, hubby and I found ourselves in the hotel bar when a young Spanish dude walked in and set up a guitar, mic and amp. I could almost feel my feet, that were blistered and sore from walking on cobbled streets for hours that day, transforming into wee happy feet that were just made to dance!! Sure enough, the guy started singing in a voice that hubby compared to Antonio Banderas as Puss in Boots, and I was up and dancing. I danced all night, with the exception of regular breaks to ensure hydration and to fight the odd bout of mild dizziness when I’d gotten a bit carried away!! Almost everyone else remained in their seats, with the exception of one other woman and a barman. Despite their seated positions, I was surprised how many people praised me for not being afraid to just go for it….. “good on you!”, “Ach you were having so much fun!”, “I love you, you’re fab!” The next day a lady asked me if I had a headache and looked somewhat incredulous when I told her I was teetotal. I felt no shame whatsoever. I had fun. The next night there was a couple….he was playing Spanish guitar and she was singing and doing a bit of flamenco dancing. I remained in my seat because I feared if I started stomping my feet and clapping my hands I’d look disrespectful and I’d never want to be ‘that girl’.
Surround yourself with true friends
It is my birthday next month. This week a friend is taking me to a glass sculpting workshop. This is the same friend who I went pottering with for Christmas……just look at my bowls!!!
On the day of my birthday that same friend, another wonderful friend, and I are going to walk alpacas. I love knowing people like this. I don’t drink, I don’t want a party or a night out in some club. I want fun……bring on the crafting and the alpacas!!
“Be yourself, everyone else is taken” Dr Seuss
Living with xx
