Trust me. I’m a tortoise. Watch me move slow. Watch me win the race.
Tricia's Big Brain Blog
A free, simple, messy little blog about living a positive life with an incurable brain tumour.
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Monday 8 July 2024
Slow down!
Trust me. I’m a tortoise. Watch me move slow. Watch me win the race.
Saturday 17 February 2024
Why you should always…….
- Maybe they haven’t spoken to anyone all day. I can’t count how many times I’ve spoken to an older person at the supermarket and they’ve told me that……I was the first person they’d spoken to all day.
- They might have stories to tell. Yesterday my husband spoke to an older gentleman who told the story of his life….. from his near drowning in a burn at four years of age, through to being in hospital for six months after being hit by a car. Last weekend I met a lady in an airport whose brother had murdered his wife and their two young children before taking his own life. She talked of the difficulty of coping with her grief whilst in the midst of a police investigation and knowing the whole town was talking about her and her family.
- It shows you’re approachable, thereby helping with the previous points.
- As Spike Milligan taught us, it’s contagious and makes others smile.
- It’ll make you feel happier, even if you hadn’t been feeling that way before you started smiling.
- It makes you prettier.
- Your right to grieve your way. It doesn’t have to follow a set pattern. See the Kubler-Ross Cycle of Grief for more.
- Your right to have an opinion. Provided it’s not small minded, judgemental or offensive.
- Your right to say no. Never feel apologetic for not wanting to do something. As the saying goes…..those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.
- Your right to dance. In a Footloose type way, I believe music and dancing are good for the soul. Last week, whilst on a short break to Spain, hubby and I found ourselves in the hotel bar when a young Spanish dude walked in and set up a guitar, mic and amp. I could almost feel my feet, that were blistered and sore from walking on cobbled streets for hours that day, transforming into wee happy feet that were just made to dance!! Sure enough, the guy started singing in a voice that hubby compared to Antonio Banderas as Puss in Boots, and I was up and dancing. I danced all night, with the exception of regular breaks to ensure hydration and to fight the odd bout of mild dizziness when I’d gotten a bit carried away!! Almost everyone else remained in their seats, with the exception of one other woman and a barman. Despite their seated positions, I was surprised how many people praised me for not being afraid to just go for it….. “good on you!”, “Ach you were having so much fun!”, “I love you, you’re fab!” The next day a lady asked me if I had a headache and looked somewhat incredulous when I told her I was teetotal. I felt no shame whatsoever. I had fun. The next night there was a couple….he was playing Spanish guitar and she was singing and doing a bit of flamenco dancing. I remained in my seat because I feared if I started stomping my feet and clapping my hands I’d look disrespectful and I’d never want to be ‘that girl’.
On the day of my birthday that same friend, another wonderful friend, and I are going to walk alpacas. I love knowing people like this. I don’t drink, I don’t want a party or a night out in some club. I want fun……bring on the crafting and the alpacas!!
Wednesday 24 January 2024
Lucky Number Seven
Thursday 7 December 2023
What a lovely day!
Thursday 16 November 2023
A change in pace
After 6 years and 5 fundraisers (one year missed because of Covid), we have now completed all the necessary tasks to allow us to say our annual gig and raffle in aid of Macmillan Cancer Support in NI is all wrapped up……. And what a gift it has been. Five fantastic nights, featuring music from the best in local rock bands, amazing raffle prizes. We’ve made new friends, seen the dream of The Riverbank Relatives Room become a reality in our local hospital, and raised an amazing
£28,314
for an important charity offering support to local cancer patients and their families.
My heart is full of love and pride for everyone involved. There is, of course, a degree of guilt that we’re stopping our fundraising, but it is small in comparison to the sense of relief. It’s hard work and takes a lot of pride swallowing to approach musicians, business owners, family, friends and colleagues, asking for support. Inevitably it was the same people that supported us year upon year.
So now it’s done. We can hold our heads up high whilst simultaneously resting back on our laurels a bit!
We already have plenty of adventures planned for 2024, but are slowing things down a wee bit. Almost permanent tinnitus is making loud gigs in small venues a bit more challenging for me. Not to mention the exhaustion and aches and pains I often feel after a late night……..especially when I get carried away and start making shapes on the dance floor!! Singing and dancing is a wonderful tonic, but care should be taken to avoid burnout!
I have been promised a face-to-face appointment after my next scan, due in the Spring/Summer. The Health Service is so under resourced, the waiting lists are unbelievable. I don’t want to increase the burden, but I obviously have questions about my condition and prognosis.
Come January we’ll be celebrating my seven year seizureversary. The rollercoaster ride remains somewhat turbulent, with wonderful highs and sometimes deep lows. I remain well supported, albeit by a much reduced number of people. I remember being cross with my dear dad when he told me “A lot of those you think are your friends, will disappear. People forget.” I thought he was being negative. Over the AD* years I’ve learnt he was being realistic and honest. Fortunately, the ones who’ve moved on to their next ‘project’ are not really missed because my life is too full of unbelievably supportive family and true friends.
Life remains good. Hubby and I work hard, which can be frustrating at times. Some days I’m fighting the urge to throw my head up, but the fact is that work pays the bills and funds the fun times! We’ve also learnt to prioritise a bit better.In January we will celebrate our 27th wedding anniversary and we couldn’t be happier.
Luckiest unlucky girl in the world 💚💚
*AD: after diagnosis, BC: before cancer
Sunday 8 October 2023
Final fundraiser & status update
The first gig went so well, we were persuaded to do it again…..and again…..and again…….and again!! Five gigs in six years, with just one year missed due to the covid pandemic……overall total raised for Macmillan in NI??
Tuesday 27 June 2023
Dolphin drunk
Wednesday 14 June 2023
Lucky knickers
Monday 15 May 2023
YOLO
Wednesday 19 April 2023
Near miss
It seems my title of Luckiest Unlucky Girl in the World remains unchallenged!
Never mind living with cancer…….living in this crazy world seems to be quite challenging enough!
Sunday 26 March 2023
Another orbit
Sunday 26 February 2023
Battling
Friday 13 January 2023
The year that was & the year that will be
- Hothouse Flowers. What a showman that Liam boy is!!
- Counting Crows. Bucket list gig for me, one of my favourite bands. They definitely didn’t disappoint.
- Crowded House. Another bucket list one and, even better, we got to enjoy it with my sister and brother in law. A rare occasion when our musical tastes merged lol
- Our annual charity gig of course. Another corker. We’re now up to a mighty £22,000 raised for Macmillan Cancer Support in NI!
- Two trips to visit our son in The Hague. The first in the warmth of April, the second in cold but glittery December. To be fair we wouldn’t have cared about the location, it’s just always special to see the light of our lives! Having said that, The Hague is a fantastic city and a pleasure to visit which is just an added bonus.
- A weekend in Barcelona in the September heat. A beautiful city we’ve visited a few times before, somehow this trip was made all the more special by the relaxed approach……we’d seen everything before so we got to choose where we’d like to go back to and take our time exploring.
- My birthday dip in March. It was a sunny Friday, I had taken the day off work only to find hubby couldn’t get the day off and my regular sea dipping team weren’t available. I got in touch with another friend who I’d met when I was in the same hospital ward as her mother. She was going in with a few friends and welcomed me along. When I got there they had a birthday banner and a birthday tea cake for me, and we had a wonderful dip in perfect conditions. On leaving the water I decided to have a cup of tea in the seaside cafe. I wasn’t bothered about being on my own but it turned out I wasn’t! I bumped into a lovely couple I know from work who were there with another couple. Again, I was welcomed into their company. We sat in the sun, chatting, and I had a wonderful time!
- Kinsale, County Cork. Hubby and I had planned a trip only to discover my best sea sista had planned to go around the same time. We were staying at opposite sides of the county, but met in between to dip in the very pretty Kinsale. Yet another beautiful serendipity.
- Finally getting to officially open our Riverbank Relatives Room in our local hospital. It was a long journey but the room is beautiful, provides an invaluable haven for patients and their families, and is a heartwarming reminder of the generosity of some of the wonderful people I have in my life.
- Dedicating a bench to my dad and a dear friend of his at their beloved Rugby club. Two aul boys holding whisky glasses, forever remembered sitting in pride of place in front of the clubhouse, watching the match. “When will we see yer likes again?”
- The addition of a baby grand to the household. Not only does it give me joy just to look at it…..it reminds me of my dad and of how far I’ve come with relearning how the play, and it’s just so pretty……. It’s also helping me improve my memory. It’s such a pleasure when the notes come out right (!) that it makes practicing fun and that has improved my focus, concentration and memory dramatically. Multiple wins!!
Sunday 11 December 2022
Christmas cheer!
I have no idea why I kept this one card. It’s a few years old because he’d written in it, so before Parkinson’s Disease stole his ability to write and Lewy Body Dementia stole his ability to understand. How did I know to keep it? I miss my dad every day, but times like these make it hit home even harder now that he’s not with us anymore.
I realise it’s perhaps a little early for a Christmas blog, but what can I say?? The Christmas spirit has got me…..further enforced by a very chilly but great fun pre Christmas dip in the North Atlantic this morning. Later this week we head over to The Netherlands for some time with our son, our pride and joy. Yep, it’s going to be a very Merry Christmas for us.
Sunday 13 November 2022
The Riverbank
Sunday 9 October 2022
Scores on the doors 2022
I can’t wait to see the room officially open and in regular use. It’s wonderful to be able to show a tangible outcome from just a small portion of the money that has been raised.
Tuesday 13 September 2022
Magnets
Sunday 24 July 2022
Self indulgence
Sunday 3 July 2022
Basket case!!
Crowded House was a different gig….. a bit quieter, but still emotional. It’s not too often my sister and I agree on music, so it was fantastic for us and our husbands to attend a gig together, and even better to dance and sing along in the blazing afternoon and evening sunshine in Manchester!
On our return home, I covid tested again. Negative. Hurrah! There are some big things happening in our house, but I’ll save that for when it’s all finished……don’t want to skud it!! For now, I’ll just keep trying to sort out these damned sinuses, get on with all the stuff that needs doing and hope against hope for speedy and positive scan results.
Monday 6 June 2022
Cork-a-doodle-doo!!
We travelled south and watched the grey clouds roll in
As we travelled beyond Belfast, it began to rain. As we crossed the border into the Republic of Ireland, it began to pour.
Friday 13 May 2022
A Volvo from childhood!
Monday 18 April 2022
Dam[ned] fine!
Yes, it was from a train, but none the less, TICK!!
Yes, again it’s from a train and I very nearly missed it, but TICK!!
The mouse hid before I got the photo, and we moved the clogs off the stair, but I swear he was there going klip klippity klop just seconds before this photo was snapped!!