Plans, plans, plans

It’s been a long 18 months!! Covid restrictions began early last year and here in backward wee Northern Ireland, we’re still behind the curve with “freedom day” as Boris the Buffoon calls it! 

Maybe it’s no bad thing that we’re easing restrictions at a slower pace, though it’d be nice to know it was a deliberate act by a unified local Assembly, rather than simply because the folks on the hill still can’t agree on anything…..ever :( 

Either way, we remain a bit locked down, beautifully aided by all the fools who choose to ignore the science and risk us going into yet another tidal wave of infections. You know them…..the anti vaxxer, anti masker, ‘they’re tracking us’ brigade! The irony of their protestations is painful.

Regardless, we are easing out of lockdown and it’s great to finally see some light……..not to mention some long awaited fun times!! Between next month and the end of the year we have three short breaks planned. Donegal, Jersey and Edinburgh. All reschedules of reschedules and all anticipated with huge excitement. We need a break! Especially now, as the thermometers rise to levels Northern Irish people generally associate with active volcanoes in far off lands.

I keep forgetting this blog is supposed to be about my cancer journey, not politics, the weather, or sea swimming (though roll on Sunday morning!!) So where are we with that pesky tumour?? 

Nothing much to report really. I remain in a monitoring schedule. I was due a scan this month, but I’m expecting delays due to Covid. Such a shame not to make the most of the semi-decent veins I now have due to the heat! I can actually see a few that I think would work for the MRI contrast dye and that’s a very rare and precious sight, let me tell you.

Unfortunately my driving licence renewal was refused this year. Of course they don’t tell you why but I’m assuming it’s a arbitrary decision made on the basis that my Neurologist diagnosed me with epilepsy in October. This was time of very high stress for me due to a very close family member spiralling into dementia, combined with a crappy time at work.  I experienced a few very mild tingles, had my medication increased by a minimal amount (which, upon questioning, the Neurologist reassured me remained well within normal prescribing levels). I don’t believe he actually told me the diagnosis that he subsequently sent to my GP, and he definitely didn’t tell me not to drive. So after 10 months of merrily driving away, it came time to apply for my new annual medical licence, and it was declined. I only found out why by speaking to my GP. My Neurologist is yet to respond to my queries. Very annoying and horribly unfair particularly on my long suffering husband, who is back to being chief taxi driver and general sorter outer! Hopefully only for a short time though…….common sense would say I should be able to reapply successfully in October, when I will be another year seizure free. Sure what else do I have to do with my time other than listen to preprogrammed phone menus as I try to speak to someone who can help……or even just any real person!

If I could drive right now I reckon I’d be in the sea. Instead I’m lounging in my back room with the patio doors open, watching the birds devour the seed I just put out for them. Ach sure, it’s not a bad aul life really. Give it 2 months and hopefully I’ll be driving to this year’s Triciafest gig in aid of Macmillan in NI, while waxing lyrical about our trips to Donegal and Jersey!!

Know what that is?? Living with xx

Adventuring on!

Whilst I realise my cancer blog has now become a cancer and sea swimming blog, I cannot apologise for having to write about today’s adventure, because it was a really special one……

My sea swim buddy and I have been trying for a perfect boat trip for a number of years now. The first one we booked was a day trip from Portrush to Islay. I think it was four or five years ago. A huge storm rolled in and the trip was cancelled due to inclement weather. 

The second one was a whale and dolphin watching trip, three years ago. A huge storm rolled in but the trip went ahead, despite the inclement weather. The only thing I saw on that trip was my life flashing in front of my eyes as 10 foot high waves crashed over the top of the boat and soaked us to the skin. We adopted the brace position and held on tight. When we got back to dry land, nobody on the boat could walk! We were like a bunch of drunks stumbling around the harbour, trying to fix our sea legs!! We went into a yacht club for cups of tea and left two puddles of water on the floor when we left.

Today was our ‘third time lucky’ trip. A trip along the coast to Rathlin Island, with the potential for a quick swim under Carrick-a-Rede rope bridge. In celebration of my sea sister’s birthday. Thankfully her birthday luck was in!! We had a fantastic trip.

I’ll not lie, as the day got closer I was getting more and more nervous about the potential swim. Conditions were looking good.  I really wanted to swim, but it’s open water and swimming off a boat is very different to swimming from a beach. What if I couldn’t get out of the boat? More concerning, what if I couldn’t get back in?? 

I’m used to a slow walk in, my body acclimatising to the cold water as I go in deeper. I never go out of my depth. Today’s dip wasn’t like that. There was a lift on the back of the boat…….. My intrepid pal stepped onto the lift as I was still flaffing around getting myself organised. The skipper lowered the lift slightly and she jumped in. I watched in admiration whilst feeling the fear rise from my tummy. Could I do that?? 

I went over to the lift and stepped on. It was really just a square of metal grid flooring that lowers into the water. The skipper lowered me down a short distance. I knew I should jump but I couldn’t do it! I was trying to manoeuvre myself into a sitting position to allow a more gentle ‘plop’ into the water when the lift started moving lower, the skipper seeing my fear at the prospect of jumping and my ungainly attempts to try to make things easier. As the lift went down I felt like I was in a shark cage and knew I’d just have to go for it. With the water at thigh level I dropped in, with a shriek of seasteria, and swam round to my friend at the side of the boat. I shook off the feeling of being like shark bait and the momentary thought that my foot might get shredded by a propellor! I saw my pal’s face, full of delight and pride, and I reminded myself I could swim, the boat was right beside me, and I was safe. 

We were doing it!! We were swimming in open, very deep water in a great big ocean. We could see the cliffs and Carrick-a-Rede rope bridge! Sea birds were flying all around us and we knew there was a minke whale somewhere close by, probably watching us and wondering what all the fuss was about. It was amazing!! 

Another passenger decided she’d get in too. She hadn’t come prepared…..no swimsuit, no towel. She just felt the pull of the sea and leapt off the lift fully clothed in shorts and a t-shirt. She’s a total legend!! 

I wasn’t in for long and my entry and exit were hugely aided by the lift, but I DID IT!! I wasn’t elegant, I was slow to get in and out and I laughed like a nut job, but…….. I proper swam in proper deep open ocean and it felt fantastic!! Another leap forward. 

Cancer can’t stop me yet!! Living with…. xx