4am

Matchbox 20 have a song called 4am. The lyrics say “It’s 4am, I must be lonely.” It’s now 5am but I’ve been up since 4am. I’m not lonely, I’m in agony. Toothache. I have a partially erupted wisdom tooth that gives me bother on and off. I’ve seen my dentist about it many times. Last time I was referred to a clinic over an hour away. When I arrived, the receptionist told me the wait for my extraction shouldn’t be too long and to take a seat in the waiting room. 

Extraction??? I thought it was an initial consultation appointment, but it seems it was ‘straight in, no kissing’. I suppose when you think about it, my own dentist had already done the initial diagnosis, but it either wasn’t really explained to me, or I just didn’t fully absorb what this appointment was for. Either way….abstraction?? I don’t think so. Just no. I politely refused their kind offer, and left with my tooth still poking out, ready to cause problems again whenever it so wished. The pain from the tooth is sporadic and usually resolved with antiseptic mouthwash and ibuprofen. Very uncomfortable when it flares up, but manageable when you’re a big, brave girl like me!

Until now.

It’s been niggling for the past few days. I’ve been using my mouthwash, brushing my teeth more frequently, and yesterday started taking ibuprofen. When I went to bed last night it was painful but I didn’t think it would go any differently than usual. 

I tossed and turned much of the night, unable to get comfortable. Partially because my tooth was sore, but mostly because I have a recurring sore on my ear cuff….. a late side effect from radiotherapy, chrondodermatitis nodularis helix is its full title I believe. I’ve seen a dermatologist and had a biopsy, thankfully confirming her initial diagnosis and showing nothing more sinister is going on. I’ve been referred to my local dermatology outpatient department. I expect I’ll be waiting a while for an appointment. In a bid to stop it getting irritated and inflamed overnight, hubby puts a wee surgical dressing on it before bed. It’s not perfect but it usually sees me through, allowing me to sleep more or less pain free. The ear problem is on the same side as the wisdom tooth problem…….the left. Unfortunately I can’t sleep on my other side because that’s where the tumour mostly lives and is where all my surgery was, my craniotomy scar runs  slightly right of centre from my hairline over the top of my head, down the right side at an angle, finishing up behind my right ear. Like any scar tissue, there remains tenderness. I also get a slightly disturbing feeling of fluid moving, and a whooshing in my ear. Despite the ear and tooth issues, I’ve had to remain a right side sleeper.

I don’t always get a lot of sleep, but I usually get enough. Not last night though. After tossing and turning and completely failing to get comfortable, I eventually found myself wide awake and in agony.

I’m up. I’ve taken more ibuprofen and am sipping water, consulting Dr Google about wisdom tooth infection. It’s terribly exciting to read about how horrendous it can be, typical Dr Google aka Dr Doom. It’s 4am and truthfully, I am feeling lonely…… not that you’d have guessed given the length of this post lol!! 

It’s now 05:40. My googling and writing is seeing the night in rightly. I’m selfishly hoping hubby wakes up soon, notices me missing, and gets up knowing all is not well. At least then I’ll have company while I wait for the emergency dentist to open their phone lines……9am to 12 noon on weekends and Bank Holidays….today is the Saturday of a Bank Holiday weekend so definitely no point trying the mobile number given. In fairness I wouldn’t anyway, it must be pure rubbish to be on call and get some aul crock like me ringing at 4am on the Sunday morning of a Bank Holiday weekend. 

I’m hoping the ibuprofen is starting to kick in a bit as the pain is easing ever so slightly, but I’ll be lifting the phone at 9am without a doubt……..unless I’ve finally fallen asleep.

Crikey what a long, boring, feeling sorry for myself, post that was. And to think, at a Hothouse Flowers gig on Friday night I was being praised for my positive attitude by a cancer nurse I got chatting to…she was with a guy our son used to work for. Hubby got chatting to him and her and I began talking. She was praising me for kicking off the dancing to ‘Don’t Go’. It was seated gig but the lead singer suggested there might be some dancers in the audience, as he started into arguably their best known song. I was delighted to be given the green light for some light exercise and was quick to get to my feet. The nurse, who didn’t know my diagnosis, started talking to me about enjoying life, explaining how she sees some of her patients going down that route while others curl up into a ball and find it incredibly difficult to cope. Of course that started a conversation and I left the gig feeling very happy after a great night of music and a lovely, positive chat.

For the couple of you still awake….I know you’ll probably be reading this at a more sensible time than the one it was written at, but I also know it’s very long and very boring. So, to anyone still with me, thank you for keeping me company. We’ve made it to 6am and my tooth  and ear are both feeling much more bearable. I might even try going back to bed in the hope of catching a few winks. 

Maybe the dentist will get to enjoy their Bank Holiday without a call out, and maybe I’ll get to keep that tooth for a while longer……I really don’t relish the thought of extraction, it’s been impacted in there for many years and I don’t think it’ll come out without a fight :(

Have a wonderful Bank Holiday and enjoy your extra day off……hopefully even if you’re my local on call dentist!