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Thursday 25 April 2019

Defying gravity

So today was the day........ another attempt at having blood taken, this time by a nurse in my GP’s surgery. I’ll admit to being very skeptical. After recent failed attempts to find a decent vein by at least six nurses and two doctors, I couldn’t see how my local GP Treatment Room nurses would fare any better. I’d popped my head in the other day and been confidently told not to worry; to wrap up warm, drink lots of water and make sure I’d eaten before my appointment.

Despite my attempts to be upbeat, I’ll admit now that nerves had hit me hard. I’ve had anxiety bubbling under the surface for days and there have been nightmares and cold sweats at bedtime. 

This morning I got up with my fighting head on. I was going to do everything in my power to try and make this happen. I took a wee bag, packed up with my lucky Buddhist blanket, water, fingerless gloves and a heat wrap, and headed into work early. In the office I got stuck into work, whilst drinking loads of water and doing everything I could to try and stay toasty warm. Thankfully my office-mate no longer bats an eyelid at anything I do, so seeing me sitting in a woolly hoodie, and fingerless gloves, with a heat wrap around the crook of my elbow whilst chugging down bottles of water was totally accepted! We sang along to Meat Loaf and calmed my nerves as best we could.

Then the time came. My phone rang and my friend told me she was outside. Yikes. Telling myself I was brave and could do this, I marched outside and we headed to the doctor’s. My heart was thumping but I was determined I wasn’t going to cry or make a fuss. Whatever would be, would be.

When we arrived I didn’t have to wait long. A no nonsense but friendly and reassuring nurse told me not to worry. She took me into a room and had a looker my arm, conceding they definitely weren’t great looking veins. She tried in the crook of my arm but had no luck. I hardly felt a thing. She told me she remained confident and that all I needed was the help of some warm water and gravity........ with that I was told to stand with my hands in a sink of warm water for 5 minutes. I watched in amazement as the veins in my hands started to become clearer; visibly rising up and thickening. On her return she sat me up on a bed and told me to hang my arm down. She reassured me some more and before I knew it there was blood flowing out of a vein in my hand with ease! 

She easily filled the requested four vials and kept reminding me..... “When you’re getting blood done, you need warm water and gravity. Never be afraid to tell whoever is taking it that that’s what you need. Remember; warm water and gravity.” What a superstar! I left her with a hug and some overwhelmed tears, before enjoying some time with two dear friends and getting home early to recover from the stress and worry I’d felt over what turned out to be basically a non event! Now I get to enjoy a long weekend off, as I’m not back in work until Tuesday. 

All in all an unexpectedly good day! I’ll end this update with some funny ‘mis-hears’that have made me giggle recently....... 

1. A few weeks ago a colleague was walking towards me in the corridor and said “Good morning Trish”. Somehow I heard “Hello gorgeous”!! Of course this is now how we always greet each other!

2. Last week we were chatting to an older man that my husband knows. He asked my name and I replied “Tricia”. He looked at me a bit quizzically and asked me to repeat it. I duly did so; “Oh” he laughed, “I thought you said Treasure!”

3. This morning as I walked into work a colleague came towards me in the corridor and started to whistle. “Ah, for second there I thought you were about to wolf whistle at me!” I laughed. Of course he then did exactly that, and again in the canteen later in the morning!

So, as a result of my sometimes dodgy hearing and a sense of humour,  I’m now a Gorgeous Treasure who gets wolf whistled at! Feminism be damned, that’s fine by me!! Xx

Tuesday 23 April 2019

Keeping things chilled....

So what’s been happening? Plenty really.

I’ll start with the medical stuff, but with the important caveat that I’m still incredibly lucky to generally keep pretty well and what problems I have are definitely not beating me....... Medically I finally had my appointment with the Rheumatologist. Another ologist to add to my ever growing list..... An urgent referral took 7 months and I had to go to Antrim because there were no appointments closer to home. The outcome was somewhat uncertain. I may have lupus but it could just be post radiotherapy effects. Either way, my muscles and joints are in almost constant pain and have been for months. Too much or too little activity makes things even worse. It’s about doing just enough...... maybe pushing a tiny bit but not too much.......

Yet again I watched on as three nurses and a doctor all had a go at my veins, trying to get blood. No luck. I’ve to go to my GP Treatment Room on Thursday for them to have a go....... to say I’m dreading it doesn’t even come close. Thankfully I have a very special friend taking me for moral support. Hubby has to work but I had to admit to myself that I need help with this one.... I’m lucky I’ve plenty of shining stars to ask. One of my favourite people in the world, she will help me feel safe and no doubt dry my tears afterwards. In the bigger scheme of things I know that collapsed veins is not the worst I’ve dealt with but being poked with needles is stressful. And it hurts! Especially when it’s then abandoned with no success.

In order to try to ignore the medical stuff, I’ve been enjoying the Easter weekend. Following a bonus lunchtime get together with our son, we enjoyed a few days away in Dublin with my sister and brother in law. We delighted in open top bussing in the unusually hot sunshine, and it was great to spend time together. 

Today I find myself off work but alone..... highly unusual. I should enjoy it, I know. Unfortunately I now find myself quite averse to being on my own. I fear I’ve become a bit needy. Not to be defeated by the feelings of anxiety that I woke up with this morning, I decided to jump into the day. Music turned up loud I had a long, hot shower and took my time getting dressed. Then I took our dog for a short walk. She behaved beautifully for me and it was lovely to get some fresh air........ I never walk her on my own anymore, so I had the added bonus of feeling a bit of added independence in that simple act. 

Next, I tackled the main event of the day....... wardrobe sorting! Cancer treatment is cruel to your weight. I yo-yo’ed from a size 8 to a size 16 but am thankfully, slowly shrinking again now. As a result I gradually found myself with a very full sliderobe with all seasons in all sizes. The time had come......., with the small sizes and the big sizes all boxed away, I can now actually see what clothes I have that fit me! Needless to say I have loads but will no doubt stick to the usual favourites!!

So life goes on. I’m happy and laugh often, I’m fulfilled working 4 days a week and feel I’m still making my own small mark. I’ve loads of fun stuff planned; from a garden party at Buckingham Palace, to rock gigs aplenty, to a romantic getaway in Galway and Athlone. The sun is shining and spring has sprung. Sea bathing season is back and I can properly enjoy my weekly dips again. I’m learning to control any stress and anxiety through reiki and hypnotherapy, as well as time in nature and with my wonderful husband and friends. Life is good and I’m making sure I live it as well as I can with the people I love....... xx

Sunday 14 April 2019

Doing life right.....

Last Sunday I had a proper sea dip for the first time in ages. I’ve been in every month, because if  I don’t do at least dip every month for a year then I don’t  get to be an official Arcadia Bathing Club member. And I’m pig headed and refuse to be beaten! But I’ll admit that the cold weather was seeing me go in up to my chest at most and then run back out...... hey, don’t judge me, I did it!! Last week though the weather was glorious and the conditions perfect. It was bliss. 



This week conditions are somewhat different. It’s very windy and very cold. The sea is choppier and the water breathtakingly cold! But I’m addicted again. I want back the feeling I get from sea bathing in the warmer months. It’s April; the water is bound to be warmer than it seems..... surely?? I want a rerun of last week. So in I go.......

It strikes me now that this morning I did a great single person show of the Wizard of Oz........
I woke up like the heroes in the poppy field. Bleary eyed and tired after a fabulous night seeing Glen Hansard live last night. What a musician! Brilliant night.

As we walked down to the Arcadia I resembled the Tinman...... it’s cold and my joints were screaming. The wind is whistling around me like a tornado ready to lift me up and carry me away. Determined and helped by a great friend, I made my way to the sea with the enthusiasm of Toto. After walking up my yellow brick road beach, I waded in like Scarecrow....... wobbly legged, my breath often catching. I reached chest height sea and stood like the Cowardly Lion..... chattering teeth and scared to get in fully. Summoning up all my strength and encouraged by people around me, I crouched and pushed myself forwards into the water, submerging myself and swimming forwards. Like Dorothy putting on the ruby slippers, I remembered there’s no place like home...... and my home is in the sea. I moved forwards, before turning into my back and floating, being carried along by the waves. It’s cold but I can feel every ache and pain floating away, along with any worries and stresses. 

I don’t stay in too long but it’s enough to leave me feeling amazing. My shoulders and knees, that have been agony for months, are pain free. Mentally I feel blissed out and floaty. I am grinning from ear to ear.  Hubby helps me get changed and we enjoy breakfast baps and cups of hot tea. 

Then it’s home and I stand in a hot shower until I can barely see due to the amount of steam. I get out and dry off quickly, trying to hold onto the warmth of the shower. Without any sense of guilt or feeling lazy, I pull on my comfiest pyjamas, fleecy dressing gown and fluffy socks. 

Now I’m settled on the sofa with more tea. Relaxed, pain free and happy. Hubby dozes beside me and the dog is chilling in her bed....... 



The whole house is content. Perfect Sunday :) 
Living with xx