I’ll start with the medical stuff, but with the important caveat that I’m still incredibly lucky to generally keep pretty well and what problems I have are definitely not beating me....... Medically I finally had my appointment with the Rheumatologist. Another ologist to add to my ever growing list..... An urgent referral took 7 months and I had to go to Antrim because there were no appointments closer to home. The outcome was somewhat uncertain. I may have lupus but it could just be post radiotherapy effects. Either way, my muscles and joints are in almost constant pain and have been for months. Too much or too little activity makes things even worse. It’s about doing just enough...... maybe pushing a tiny bit but not too much.......
Yet again I watched on as three nurses and a doctor all had a go at my veins, trying to get blood. No luck. I’ve to go to my GP Treatment Room on Thursday for them to have a go....... to say I’m dreading it doesn’t even come close. Thankfully I have a very special friend taking me for moral support. Hubby has to work but I had to admit to myself that I need help with this one.... I’m lucky I’ve plenty of shining stars to ask. One of my favourite people in the world, she will help me feel safe and no doubt dry my tears afterwards. In the bigger scheme of things I know that collapsed veins is not the worst I’ve dealt with but being poked with needles is stressful. And it hurts! Especially when it’s then abandoned with no success.
In order to try to ignore the medical stuff, I’ve been enjoying the Easter weekend. Following a bonus lunchtime get together with our son, we enjoyed a few days away in Dublin with my sister and brother in law. We delighted in open top bussing in the unusually hot sunshine, and it was great to spend time together.
Today I find myself off work but alone..... highly unusual. I should enjoy it, I know. Unfortunately I now find myself quite averse to being on my own. I fear I’ve become a bit needy. Not to be defeated by the feelings of anxiety that I woke up with this morning, I decided to jump into the day. Music turned up loud I had a long, hot shower and took my time getting dressed. Then I took our dog for a short walk. She behaved beautifully for me and it was lovely to get some fresh air........ I never walk her on my own anymore, so I had the added bonus of feeling a bit of added independence in that simple act.
Next, I tackled the main event of the day....... wardrobe sorting! Cancer treatment is cruel to your weight. I yo-yo’ed from a size 8 to a size 16 but am thankfully, slowly shrinking again now. As a result I gradually found myself with a very full sliderobe with all seasons in all sizes. The time had come......., with the small sizes and the big sizes all boxed away, I can now actually see what clothes I have that fit me! Needless to say I have loads but will no doubt stick to the usual favourites!!
So life goes on. I’m happy and laugh often, I’m fulfilled working 4 days a week and feel I’m still making my own small mark. I’ve loads of fun stuff planned; from a garden party at Buckingham Palace, to rock gigs aplenty, to a romantic getaway in Galway and Athlone. The sun is shining and spring has sprung. Sea bathing season is back and I can properly enjoy my weekly dips again. I’m learning to control any stress and anxiety through reiki and hypnotherapy, as well as time in nature and with my wonderful husband and friends. Life is good and I’m making sure I live it as well as I can with the people I love....... xx
No comments:
Post a Comment