Dispatches.....

“I hope this gets me a mention in dispatches”, my sister told me this morning, through trembling lips. We were swimming in the chilly North Atlantic at the time, alongside my friend of 30 years. Well here’s your mention as promised.... ;) 

It’s been quite a week in our house. On Monday night I managed to somehow fall out of bed and thump my head off the floor....... almost a week later there’s still a tender patch on my forehead; now a charming shade of greenie-yellow! I’m partially blaming hubby because he was running a fever and I’d woken up roasted!! It took us a couple of days to feel content that I was fine and hubby had food poisoning from a dodgy lunch he’d made himself in the back of his work van..... Sure I couldn’t be outdone by an unwell husband; so I had to headbutt the floor for attention..... 

This morning dawned blustery and rainy. Hubby is now feeling better after a miserable week, so he was rewarded by taking me down for a sea dip. At least I had a couple of my home-girls there so he could enjoy a coffee and not have to join me in the water! Though it was glorious today. The past 3 weeks have been perfect conditions; cold but low waves, allowing us to bob rather than get sea slapped! My type of sea :) Today was even better due to the company. I had my home-girls in the water and my hubby Support Team on the shore, and perfect conditions to absorb all the benefits of Vitamin Sea.

There you go big sis...... mentioned in dispatches. And Happy Anniversary!! This time last year was another big moment as we celebrated your wedding to a great guy who we all love. May is a good month. Spring time regeneration!! Xxx

It’s a new day, it’s a new dawn.....

Tomorrow marks the start of yet another chapter. I waited 7 months for an ‘urgent’ rheumatology appointment and, shortly after I finally had it, I came home from London to a letter telling me I had hypothyroidism. Up until now I’d just assumed fatigue and muscle/joint pains were going to be part and parcel of living with a brain tumour. I suspected the phenytoin poisoning and way too long on steroids had played a part and hoped time would resolve things, but was a bit concerned this would be my life now. 

This new, additional diagnosis was a blow and there were tears on Sunday morning as it started to sink in. Mostly I was frustrated that I have another thing to deal with, but also thyroid problems feel a bit ‘old woman-y’ to me...... So I had my cry and talked things through with hubby. He dispensed reassuring words and hubby hugs and promptly took me to have a sea dip. I came out of the water in a much better mind space.

Today I reluctantly added two extra tablets to my daily pill boxes. After seeing a GP, I was persuaded to try the lowest dose of thyroid medication you can take along with an iron tablet daily. I take the first doses tomorrow. I don’t want to but I also don’t want to live with constant aches and pains that I may be putting up with unnecessarily.

Wish me luck..... another hurdle but hopefully I’ll leapfrog it quickly! Living with..... xx

London baby!

We’re at Gatwick, waiting to come home after 4 nights in London. It was a very special trip that we enjoyed, but it also taught me that I’m definitely not a city girl. I used to find London exciting, but this trip I’ve spent much time craving space and fresh air. 

It all started well..... We were walking out the door when my phone rang and a nurse told me my next scan date. Not long to wait; this is good as it allows for reassurance. Then we met the actor James Nesbitt at the airport and had a great chat. We covered sea bathing, growing up in Coleraine and the triangle area and politics. All of which took my mind off the fact that I was about to get into a plane for the first time since my diagnosis. Thankfully the flight went smoothly. I wasn’t entirely comfortable but I was able to keep any nerves in check and thankfully  my head didn’t explode! Result!!

The journey into London was fairly challenging and not much fun. The drive to the airport, flight, navigating around Gatwick and then getting the Express followed by a tube took most of the day. We arrived exhausted but I felt a sense of achievement from having done it! That evening we just took a walk around the area we were staying in (Leicester Square) and got food.

The next day was the big day! Garden Party day!! We spent the morning wandering nearby before heading back to our hotel to get ready. It was easy to feel a bit wick, walking out of a Premier Inn dressed to the nine’s, including fancy fascinator, but it was fun. We decided to get a taxi ...... the palace encourage you arrive by public transport but there was no way I was getting on a dirty tube in a pretty dress and open toed sandals!! We arrived at Buckingham Palace and spent a surreal few hours pretending to be posh ;) It was a great experience but involved a LOT of standing around. Great for people watching!

That evening we performed a very quick change into jeans and headed out to meet friends for dinner. They had also been to the garden party and we had a great catch up. 

The next day my wee legs and feet were screaming. It was a beautiful day so we headed to Hyde Park. Unfortunately boat trips on the Serpentine weren’t running, but we enjoyed a lovely walk and a toe dip in Diana’s fountain. Not quite the same as the sea, but great for weary feet!

That night we saw Wicked. I’d seen it before but enjoyed it just as much this time around. 

We’ve had a brilliant few days and it was cool to feel special at Buckingham Palace, but it also made us accept that we both find no appeal in visiting cities these days. We enjoyed ourselves but are both glad to be heading home. We crave peace and quiet, our own bed and, most of all, fresh air! We have a few overnights planned for gigs in Dublin and Belfast over the next few months, but other than that we’re just looking forward to a few nights in Galway and Athlone at a much slower pace. 

Life is short but it doesn’t need to be lived at break neck speed. I don’t want or need a fast paced life. I enjoyed London but there’s no place like home.....

Going back to nature

“Water quiets all the noise, all the distractions, and connects you to your own thoughts.”

From Blue Mind book by Wallace J. Nichols

I ki I know that science and trained doctors saved my life. Surgeries, radiotherapy and chemotherapy undoubtedly calmed a life threatening situation. BUT....... medications have also been responsible for putting me within a few days of death. They left my physical body battered and my emotional mind wrecked. Over the past 2 years and 5 months I’ve spent much of my time recovering; both physically and emotionally. I’ve still got a big old brain tumour but it appears to be behaving itself at the current time. After treatment, I put this good behaviour down to alternative therapies and staying positive.

This weekend has been a perfect example of how to spend quality time, working on keeping the mind calm. On Tuesday I am travelling to London. I’m excited because I’m attending a Garden Party at Buckingham Palace, after receiving my BEM. This still feels a bit surreal..... earlier hubby said to me “Imagine two wee eedjits from Coleraine going to Buckingham Palace!!” I pointed out it was even worse.... with one of us actually from Derry and the other from Glasgow!! Common as muck haha.  

So I’m very excited about our trip BUT it’s the first time I’ve flown since being diagnosed and I’m terrified of the flight. Despite being cleared by all the medical professionals, I still hold a fear that the change in air pressure will lead to my head exploding! 

In a bid to keep me calm, on Thursday night I added kineastheology to my list of alternative therapies and am now armed with calming essential oil to rub into my palms pre flight to keep me calm. Tomorrow I have a hypnotherapy session planned. This weekend I went full on nature! Yesterday we went to Portglenone Forest, which was absolutely beautiful....... bluebells, beautiful wildflowers and trees, butterflies, birds singing and even a riverbank. 

As we stood watching the river flow by, I was admiring a black lab who’s owner was throwing a stick into the water. The dog was having a great time, swimming out and bringing it back to be thrown again. The lady and I began to chat about the joys of having dogs and she told me about her sister, who....... yep, you’ve guessed it........has a brain tumour! How does this just keep happening to me? Only a couple of weeks ago I met a lady in a cafe who I hadn’t seen in years. I spoke to her and we had a chat. I told her who I was (I knew she’d remember my parents) and that I remembered her and her husband walking up and down our road when I was a kid. She remembered our family and gave me a hug to thank me for taking the time to speak to her. Then she told me about her husband and the fact that he’d been living with a brain tumour for a number of years now! Either the number of people with brain tumours is increasing or else some sort of strange energy is drawing me to people who have been touched by one. It’s strange yet comforting.....

This morning was sea swim Sunday; my favourite day of the week! Conditions were perfect. I even had on my new swimsuit, which I’m happy to report is two sizes smaller than the last one! Finally fighting back from steroid chubbiness!! As I walked into the surf with my friend of around 30 years, we gasped and shouted out at the coldness of the water. But soon we were in. That initial immersion felt so good that I found myself laughing and crying all at once. Bobbing in the calm sea and enjoying the unique freedom that comes from outdoor swimming always leaves me a bit overwhelmed. It’s a combination of feeling proud I’m in, feeling all my aches and pains taken away by being weightless in the water and the joy of being in nature. We stayed in for ages; neither of us wanting the dip to end.  Eventually I told my friend that hubby would be giving off because I’d been in so long...... he worries about me getting too cold. Sure enough, I looked up to the Arcadia and saw hubby and two friends signalling me to come out. I laughed “Come in number 6, your time is up!” but knew they were right. Out we got, hugging goodbye and declaring our love for each. 

It’s wonderful to have a friend that shares your love of the sea. We’ve even booked to go on a boat trip later in the summer. This is our third attempt at a relaxing boat trip. The first time we booked to sail to Islay but a storm stopped our plans. Then we booked a whale and dolphin watching trip, only to end up drenched by torrential rain and 10 foot high waves crashing over the boat. When asked if we’d seen anything, I’d replied “Only our lives.... flashing before our eyes!!” This one will hopefully be third time lucky.

“Hark now hear the sailors cry,

Smell the sea and feel the sky.

Let your soul and spirit cry, into the mystic.”

Van Morrison

 

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