The miracle

I often joke about getting myself a t-shirt saying “I’m not saying I’m going to be a miracle, but I haven’t ruled it out!” Yesterday I got a letter that made me wish I had! And today I could’ve got another one saying “See? I told you!!” 

The post-scan letter from my Oncologist is something I  dread yet love to receive. It’s terrifying but it brings news and takes away the ‘not knowing’. In reality, I’ve had great results since I had my surgeries and completed my treatment almost three years ago. Each MRI has shown improvement on the previous one. So really the ‘letter dread’ is unnecessary, but there’s a constant ‘what if’ shadow hanging over all cancer patients.

Yesterday I got my scan letter. I wasn’t expecting bad news because all my results have been good and I feel stronger now than I have done since the start. Still I opened it with held breath and shaky hands. I still can’t quite get my head around what I read. It’s partially why I’m writing this, because writing this blog helps me make sense of my feelings and understand what’s going on. It doesn’t matter what I’m trying to process, writing always seems to help. 

So here goes....... Here are my latest scan results .....*drumroll*

“I am again pleased to say that everything looks very stable and very quiet. There is no sign of a return of your previous brain tumour. This is very reassuring.”

There is no sign of my incurable, terminal brain tumour and no sign of a return?? This is very reassuring indeed!! Quite possibly the most reassuring thing I’ve ever heard in my life!! 

I understand the Oncologist has to be careful because the statistics would show a very high likelihood of it returning. Like all good horror films, sometimes they come back, but my typically optimistic reading of that letter tells me only one thing that I’m prepared to listen to at the moment.......... 

IT’S GONE!!!! 

I wanted to end this blog post with a suitably poignant quote or song lyric, but I have to be honest and say the only one that’s been embedded in my head for the last two days is completely cheesy and not even slightly clever. Oh well, nothing else for it........

“Don’t stop believing!!”

Journey

Living with?? Not at the moment!! Xx