Four years gone

This time four years ago I was getting myself ready for brain surgery. That still sounds mad to me! Almost unbelievable. My first surgery was on 22nd February 2017, and my second one was a week later on 1st March....... I saw a video this week of a woman playing violin during awake brain surgery. All I managed were some very poor jokes.......

Hand me the forceps; “What are you doing up there?? You’re not delivering a baby you know!!”, 

 “Do you know what day it is today?? It’s 1st March, the first day of Brain Tumour Awareness month. Don’t f*ck this up.....it’d be really embarrassing for you!!”,

“Just so we’re clear, if I die on this table I’m coming back to haunt you!”

All I have to do is touch my head to be reminded it wasn’t all a bad dream......there’s a scar and a temple fontanelle to remind me. The weather reminds me too...... we’ve just had a complete downpour and accompanying thunder and lightning so powerful it knocked the Sky TV signal off. Hubby was very unhappy because the Merseyside derby is on! I’m unhappy because my head is still thumping. Human barometer.

Thankfully there was no rain for my sea dip this morning. Though it’s still very, very cold in the water! I wrote that like it’s ever warm in the North Atlantic.......it’s not, but there’s definitely ‘winter cold’ and ‘summer cold’, and we’re still in the former. Not for long though...... Spring is just around the corner. Some of my snowdrops have come out in our garden, and there are tulip shoots just waiting for the season to properly change. It’ll be Spring no time!

The longer days seem to be lifting everyone. In the last week I’ve had loads of really pleasant conversations and experiences. I’ve been busy at work, which is always good for me. I’ve started playing piano again after 30 years......it’s halting and there are plenty of bum notes, but it’s coming on. A wonderful lady I met when her mother was in the same hospital ward as me created a series of beautiful images inspired by sea bathers. “My” image is called Stormbusting and she made me cry with her words;

“....brave, tenacious, enduring, inspirational...”, “the long mermaid hair symbolises the inner rock chick being restored. The wave symbolises everything you endured and are still going through.....”

Wow! What could I even say? Completely overwhelming. 

Hot on the heels of this I had someone tell me I was ‘a tonic’. I took this as a wonderful compliment. It’s not an expression you hear much, but I’d just rattled off my ‘Billy Joel saved my life’ story along with a few other comedy lines. It’s always nice to have my, sometimes dark, humour appreciated.

We are fast racing towards Spring. I have snowdrops in bloom in my garden and tulips starting to sprout. Before we know it Covid restrictions will start to ease and we’ll be all be in a better place! 

We have rescheduled gigs to attend and trips to go on. Please, please let us get a break by summer!! Even if it means handing back the laptop, getting out of the jogging bottoms and going back out into the Wide World.  I’m restless. I crave the sun, music, good friends, and seeing our Riverbank Relatives Room finally opening! I am filled with hope and expectation. Come on life.......don’t let me down!!