Yuanfen

“Yuanfen - the mysterious force that causes two lives to cross paths.”

What a great word! I’m pretty certain I’ve benefitted from some yuanfen quite a few times. When I discovered this word recently, one friend in particular immediately sprang to mind. 

This friend is just a wonderful human being. She’s funny and kind and someone I can be completely myself with. She’s an amazing mum and grannie, who generously gives her time and energy to her family and friends, without ever expecting anything in return. She also works in a care environment, giving yet more time and energy to those who need it most.

She is someone I met through our jobs. We spent some brilliant years sharing an office, along with another great friend. We remain firm friends and both of them have shown their true, vibrant and beautiful, colours to me many times. 

When I was first diagnosed and going through treatment I had some fairly dark days. I used to joke with my friend that she must be psychic, because she always seemed to appear when I needed her most, without me saying a word. That hasn’t changed. She always seems to pop up when I need a friend. We go out for cuppas and often indulge in ‘a wee half n half’, when we get a scone and a bun and split them between the two of us. When the weather is nice we go for walks and ocean toe dips. We have a friendship that involves complete trust, and I cherish our get togethers. Being friends with her is easy. There’s never any risk of misunderstandings or bad feeling. There’s no competition or put downs. It’s all about lifting each other up and celebrating each other’s triumphs. What a special relationship to have.

Today we met up for a cuppa and a wee half n half, and she told me something that yet again enforced my belief that we were meant to become friends………... Recently her job caring for others took her into a hospital environment. Whilst there she found herself in need of somewhere to change her clothes. She was directed to a room, she opened the door………and found herself unexpectedly in The Riverbank Relatives Room! She told me that initially she thought somebody else had copied our idea, but as she admired the wall murals, she spotted one of our unique features…… the bride and groom that represent my sister and brother-in-law, who so generously asked for donations to our fundraising in lieu of wedding presents. She knew then with certainty that she was in our room. She was one of the many people who contributed to making the room a reality. She has given both money and time to help with the Triciafest gig, and has been unwavering in her support since we began the project in 2019. 

As she told me of her serendipitous visit to the Riverbank Relatives Room, my heart almost burst with joy and pride. To hear of the room being used was joyous, but the fact that the person using it is one of my favourite people in the whole world, verged on being surreally perfect. 

Sometimes I feel like we are joined by invisible thread. 

Serendipity, fate, destiny, yuenfen….. whatever you call it, some people are just meant to be friends.