As ever, January wasn’t a particularly joyous month for me. February hasn’t been a lot better to be truthful. Thankfully, with only today and tomorrow to go until we’re into March, and a huge improvement in the weather, I’m definitely starting to feel much more like myself again.
I’ve asked myself repeatedly why I get so miserable in January every year. Honestly I think it’s a big mixture of things. This year seems to have been something of a perfect storm….. in many ways literally, with three big storms in a row.
First there was Dudley, then Eunice, and finally Franklyn. Each one brought changes in air pressure that my head just doesn’t like. Changes in barometric pressure are scientifically proven to cause swelling within the brain…… this can be very unpleasant for anyone who has had surgery/ injury/ experiences migraines etc. Importantly for me, storms also lead to large sea swells that have kept me out of the water. My happy place that’s so important to my emotional well being.
On top of that, my hormones remain somewhat unpredictable. They have been that way since my teenage years, but treatment induced early menopause has brought a whole new range of experiences. Thankfully I haven’t had the fits of rage some women describe…….I’m more likely to just want to hide and definitely haven’t been feeling very sociable.
Finally, January is a significant month because it’s the month I had my initial grand mal seizure and was diagnosed with my grade 3 brain tumour. It’s the month our lives changed forever so there’s probably a level of subconscious trauma attached.
Losing my dad in October didn’t help things this year. He was a huge part of our lives and we miss him.
I try really hard each year not to let it happen. Especially this year. January should have been a good month…… our 25th wedding anniversary, starting to move out of Covid restrictions. Not to mention more positive scan results…..although I didn’t get these in writing until February. Seriously though, how could I remain a bit glum when holding a letter that said
“I am pleased to let you know that your repeat MRI scan done on 2 December remains very stable with no signs of disease recurrence. All looks quiet.”
Regardless, despite my best efforts, it remained a tough few months.
As always, these things can’t last. As I look out into my back garden this bright Sunday morning, I can see a small clump of yellowy-orange crocuses that have started to bloom. They even held their own through last week’s snow!
Spring is definitely winning the battle. I’ll be back sea dipping in no time, and we’ve got a few short trips coming up; Edinburgh in March, and over to the Netherlands to see our clever son who’s studying a Masters in The Hague, in April. We also have loads of rescheduled gigs to look forward to this year, not to mention more short breaks in Dublin, Cork, Manchester and Barcelona.
We’re planning our annual music gig in aid of Macmillan Cancer Support and are hopeful of pushing our overall total raised to over £20,000 this year. With the removal of Covid restrictions, we’re also hoping to get our Riverbank Relatives Room in our local hospital officially opened. I’m really excited about that. It’s something that makes me so proud of how a group of decent people can come together and achieve something really special.
Marching into Springtime, living with xx
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