A little bit country....

From a very young age I used to spend hours listening to any music I could find. Old tapes and LPs, whatever I could get my hands on. My tastes were eclectic...... the ones that stick out from my early years include Simon & Garfunkel’s Bridge over Troubled Water, ABBA’s Super Trouper, Cliff Richard’s Greatest Hits (the double cassette with his profile made out of a gold record), Barbra Streisand’s Guilty and Neil Diamond’s Jazz Singer. 

As I hit school age it was all about the Top 40 hits. Sunday night’s spent with the Charts on Radio 1, a tape deck and a quick finger to get a recording of the song but not the DJ. Diana Ross’s Chain Reaction still makes me think of my P7 school trip to London (on the bus with a Walkman and the words in Smash Hits), Michael Jackson’s Thriller album, Madonna’s True Blue.

Teenage years brought full on rock rebellion. Sneaking out to gigs on the Street Legal bus, lying about where I was going and who I was going with. My friend and I used to nick her brother’s tapes; Kiss, Ozzy and Def Leppard. Then I went heavy; Metallica, Slayer, Megadeth. 

Throughout all of this has been a slight undercurrent of country...... Kenny Rogers and John Denver in the early days, Southern rock bands later; Lynyrd Skynyrd, Jon Bon’s country phase (heart!), The Eagles and, more recently, Blackberry Smoke and Cadillac Three.

Since I was diagnosed I’ve found my inner country queen has become even more prominent. My wee head can be quite sensitive so I sometimes have to watch loud bands, particularly those with heavy drums and bass. A bit of country can allow an easy to sing chorus, good harmonies and maybe even a wee dance. 

And so find myself looking at my diary and seeing an interesting mix of gigs coming up. Alongside Bryan Adams, Foo Fighters, Toby Jepson and Quireboys, there’s Midland (they’re so Country I’m not sure if it’s a joke. The Steel Panther of country music??), and Country to Country (a three day country fest, with Chris Stapleton, Lady Antebellum and Keith Urban). 

“I’m a little bit country

I’m a little bit rock n roll

I’m a little bit Memphis

A little bit Nashville”

Donny and Marie Osmond...???

Christmas weekend!

Christmas comes but once a year....... unless you’re in our family of course! We have a family tradition; we get together before Christmas Day for Robinson Christmas. It’s simply a family get together where we go for a meal and we exchange gifts....... much like actual Christmas, except earlier. This weekend was Robinson Christmas and it’s been lovely. I’ve enjoyed time with my husband, son, sister, brother in law and dad.  Some of my favourite people in the world. Family are so important. I value mine immensely. This year my son even took weeks to make flavoured vodka and whisky for his aunt and uncle. He didn’t use a still, don’t worry. Not moonshine as much as a kind of alcoholic marinade! 

Unfortunately my muscle and joint aches continue, but I’m trying desperately not to let it annoy me. Im sure it’s going to pass but I wish my feet and ankles weren’t quite so hobbit-like!  It’s not stopping me though..... well maybe a tiny bit, but very little. Finally finishing the steroids is starting to give me my cheekbones back but it’s yet another change for my poor body to deal with.

Not to be outdone, I’m still working and enjoying life. Our gig diary continues to fill up, with plenty to enjoy during the rest of 2018 and the start of 2019. Music makes me happy and I get to enjoy gigs with family and friends so I see it all as part of my healing process.  The NI rock music community is a small and an incredibly loyal one. Like family, friends and work colleagues, I have gig buddies that have my back and are always there to help and make me smile.  Sometimes these friend circles combine and that can warm my heart. Just yesterday a friend, who is also one of my former work line managers, sent me a photo of him at a gig, with a rock band guy friend of ours...... he even had on a triciafest t-shirt...... at a festival in Scotland!  That made me smile. What a legend.

So what’s next? Well, I’m hoping my wee body will recover from the steroid abuse by the end of the year. Then I’m hoping my next scan in January shows continued improvement. Then it’s just a case of keeping things steady..... Living life..... xx

43 going on 80, via 21

My muscles and joints continue to cause me significant problems. It’s now been 6 weeks of significant discomfort at best and severe pain at worst. I’ve been referred to a rheumatologist (another Consultant to add to my collection) but the waiting list for an emergency referral is 7 months....... So I guess I need to just keep doing what I’m doing and hopefully helping myself as much as I can. 

The Physio did give me a rather nifty looking rolator for days I want to go for a longer walk.  I test drove it in Ballymena on Saturday and it was great. Then I took it for another spin on Sunday, but I’ve discovered it’s not great on paths that aren’t completely smooth. If it’s even a little bumpy it can be a bit like pushing a pneumatic drill! Plus negotiating slopes, both coming down and going up, is going to take a bit more practice. The seat is ace though. Perfect for a wee rest when needed. Plus the shopping basket underneath is as handy as anything......No requirement to hurt weary arms or load up hubby like a pack mule! Friends have suggested Christmas decor, including fairy lights, so watch this space.....!

So I now officially kind of look like I’m in my 80s..... Do I care? Honestly, a tiny bit maybe, but not enough to prevent me from using it if it helps. It will allow me to enjoy longer walks in the fresh air which can only be good!

Last night was spent watching Mumford & Sons live. Fantastic! For a fairly plain, slightly chubby guy, Mr Mumford is a rock god!! Maybe there’s hope for me yet! Last night he played guitar, drums and piano. He was note perfect with a tone like velvet and had the audience in the palm of his hand. He even left the stage and took a walk up through the crowd and up into the seats. There’s not too many do that nowadays! It was a late night for me and an uncomfortable one without too much sleep. 6.15am comes early, but I’ve still managed to complete a fairly productive day at work.

The gig diary is now starting to fill up nicely, right into next year. Hopefully my stamina will improve....... I’m pretty confident it will, not that I’ll let it stop me anyway! Music is good for my emotional mind and that’s just as important as any physical therapy.  These days of dust will soon be blown away by a new sun....... Bring it on!! Xx

“Well, I came home

Like a stone

And I fell heavy into your arms

These days of dust

Which we've known

Will blow away with this new sun”

I Will Wait, Mumford and Sons

I wish that.....

“I wish that

I knew what I know now

When I was younger”

Ooh la la by The Faces

I just heard this song and it got me thinking. Do I? Do I wish I’d known what was ahead and the lessons a twist of fate has taught me? 

I was once basically asked this at a promotion interview. It went something like this......

Interviewer: If you could go back to your first day as a Trainee Analyst what would you do differently and why?

Me: *looks confused and tries to think* Well, that depends. Am I going back knowing what I know now? Or am I going back the same way I was then? Hmmm, that’s a tough one. If I go back the way I was then, I wouldn’t change anything because I wouldn’t know any different...... However, I can’t go back knowing what I know now, because if I hadn’t done things the way I did them then I wouldn’t  have learnt anything and wouldn’t know there was a better way. Erm. I’m confused. What exactly do you mean??

Interviewer: *clears his throat* Uh, yes, I see what you’re saying. That was a stupid question. Ignore I asked it. Let’s move on.

Somehow, I managed to get the promotion on that occasion! I still feel the same way about hindsight. Would I have lived my life differently prior to diagnosis if I’d known what was ahead? No, I don’t think I would. I don’t think I ever lived a terrible life to begin with. And lessons come through experience. You have to mess up or have something traumatic happen to truly make you who you are. 

In conclusion, I’m glad I didn’t know what I know now when I was younger. I think.... Xx

Still sore but not stopping....

“Don’t stop me now, I’m having such a good time, I’m having a ball!” 

Queen

My muscles remain agony. The pain moves around a bit, but it’s not letting up. I refuse to let it stop me but am desperately hoping it’s temporary. But that’s enough of that. A friend of mine told me the other night that his wife and I read this blog and that I had a good way with words but that I complain a lot..... Probably a fair comment I know. It’s my way of getting it out, though I always try to deliver the truth but also give a positive slant. So let’s remember my good scan results and the fact that I’m no longer in palliative care. That more than balances out the temporary muscle pains.

The past few weeks have brought some wonderful experiences. My Wind in the Willows dress got another run out when we went to a beautiful wedding. It was in Letterkenny and started a wee run of fun times! 

First my sister and brother in law visited for a weekend, then we had 2 nights away going to gigs in Belfast and Dublin. 

We’ve had lots of time off work and have spent time with great people........Not to mention with each other, which is always lovely! 

Now we’re heading back towards reality again..... today I heard from a friend who is in hospital with a bleed to the brain and possible spinal leak. I was devastated but know he’ll be ok. He’s been a steady and consistent friend to me throughout everything. When people I knew better and expected more of got bored and I dropped off their radar, this friend never wavered in his support. I’m fortunate enough to have a few friends like him. The ones that are always there. Plus my husband and sister and brother in law provide a crutch that I’d be completely lost without. 

Next week brings normal and mundane stuff like work, blood tests and a haircut. But it also brings another hypnotherapy session, lunches and another gig at the weekend. My life remains very changeable, with some bad but loads of good. I plan to spend the run up to Christmas in the company of good people who genuinely care. I have a couple more gigs and a few fun times planned with family and friends. Don’t stop me now! Xxx