Inspired and overwhelmed

PSNI TedTalk day today. I went to bed early last night in the hope of a good nights sleep..... optimistic....... I ‘tech curfewed’ early, put on my Wind in the Willows ‘sleep story’ audio,  and fell into a deep sleep early. I was awoken to the sound of a bird...... hurrah!! 

I gently punched the air and quietly said “I’ve slept through! Yay!” I’ll just check what time it is before I wake hubby for work..... birds singing means it’s after 5am, and he has to be up at 6.15 for work. Alarms are set, but it’s nicer to be woken with a cup of tea.... 

Go home crow, you’re drunk!! Time? 00:54. Seriously. I could’ve cried. I’ve been asleep for no more than four and a half hours. And now I need the loo. Up we get.... Now I’m totally stressed out.... not a great cure for insomnia! Damned steroids. Damned drunk crow :( 

I followed this up with restless dozes, interspersed with the usual toilet trips and anxiety attacks. I’ve a TedTalk to deliver in Belfast...... I need to sleep! 

And so I got out of bed this morning before 6am and left for Belfast just after 7. My sister came over from Manchester to support me so at least I was in good, relaxed and calm hands.

We arrived at the event location in good time and it was great to get some time with other speakers.  Seven of us, all with different stories, all with something to say, all nervous and wondering a little about why we were doing it! 

One by one, we each delivered our presentations. Everyone was fantastic. I felt such pride in my fellow colleagues. And yes, I felt some pride in myself..... I might’ve been sitting down, I might’ve been using fully scripted notes (to stop me going off on any mad tangents), but I was doing it! The support from the room was palpable...... I could practically feel arms wrapped around me, cheering me on. I was even kindly given a standing ovation.

Whilst everyone was brilliant, the final speaker of the day was the one that has literally changed my life forever. Clodagh Dunlop, the police officer who survived locked in syndrome is, quite simply, the most inspirational, strong, determined person I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. I felt like a total fraud even sharing a stage with her.

Clodagh, you are my hero. If ever I feel any emotional dip about my own challenge, I will think of you. Your standing ovation seemed to go on for ages..... and it still wasn’t long enough! Thank you. Words aren’t enough. I am honoured to know you xx