Feeling groovy

As ever, the Support Team keep me right! I am due to reduce my steroid dose on Monday again. The dose I take is low by many peoples’ standards, but it’s a strong medication, I’m very sensitive to it, and I’ve been on it for 16 months. Even small changes impact me hugely. The two weeks since the last reduction have been really hard. Physically painful, emotionally up and down. Exhausting.

My instinct is always to push through. Naturally tenacious and wanting to just get things done. Have I learnt nothing?? What about all the talk of being kind to myself and not pushing too hard? What’s my rush? Thankfully a couple of good friends took me aside and gently (but strongly) pointed out some obvious facts. That I need to learn more patience, that there’s no point making myself miserable, that I need to slow down. It takes real friends to do that. To respect my decisions, but not be afraid to tell me to slow down. To help me in both practical and emotionally supportive ways. My Support Team is huge and made up of people from all sections of my life. My inner circle is much smaller but made up of people I’m truly grateful for. 

Considering hubby had already said much the same the evening before, and a nurse I trust with my life (not least because he’s literally saved it in the past)...... I finally realised that maybe I need to start heeding advice, and actually doing what I say I’m going to do! 

With that in mind, I am slowing down my steroid reduction programme. I still want off them, and I’ll get there. But I’ll seek advice on it first, and I’m not doing anything next week. There’s no rush. Why make myself miserable? 

I had a much better night’s sleep last night than I’ve had in a long time, but I’ve still got a long way to go before I can say I have a decent sleep pattern back. 

In general today has been great. I was at work this morning, and enjoyed getting stuck into a bit of writing. Typically, it was a bit rambling and needs a lot of work before it becomes a finished product, but it was good to leave and know I’d contributed something, however small. 

Plus the sunny weather had everyone in good spirits and full of chat and fun. Using the computer undoubtedly left me tired so I was glad I’d already planned a half day off. I went for lunch with my dad and then enjoyed a nice 20 mins sit in the sunshine in my back garden. Ok, I’ll admit I did a bit of housework beforehand..... but I promise I stopped when my back got too sore. I didn’t push on. I stopped. I’m tired and my joints are sore, but I’m having a quiet weekend and being good to myself. I’m learning...... tortoising. 

In it to win it. Living with..... Getting there.....

Today’s earworm from Simon and Garfunkel for you..... “Slow down, you move too fast.... gotta make the morning last” xx