On Saturday night I even managed to go to a Bonfire, Beer and Busk. I missed the album launch of friends’, but baby steps....! Held in aid of Macmillan, it was being organised by friends I’ve recently made. I was determined to go to it, despite it being an ‘evening out’ challenge. In 8 months I think I’ve been out of bed after 8pm three times. Once to do a charity walk, once to watch a short film on the banks of the Erne, and now to watch other people drink beer while we all sing along to acoustic guitars. Each time has been wonderful!! The treatments have been exhausting, and it’s important to let my body recover, but it’s nice to push myself a wee bit every so often. I love music. I couldn’t go to a gig yet due to the noise/ crowds/ lights. I miss it. This event was perfect! A small group of people, a few with guitars. I laughed and I sang, and I laughed some more.
I watched a man I knew from before (but not well) show a side I’d never have guessed was there, I sang along with a stranger who chose to sing what he described as a more ‘obscure’ song but is actually my favourite Ryan Adams song (Firecracker), I sang with a new (but already very dear) friend as she played the Bare Necessities on ukelele..... I enjoyed myself. I got home late (by my standards!), exhausted, but with a smile on my face. Hubby was smiling too. There are so many people that have been dragged through this whole thing with me, not least my hubby and sister. My life has changed, but so has theirs in many ways. It’s difficult not to sometimes worry you’ve become a burden..... It’s difficult not to sometimes feel like everyone’s getting a bit bored with the whole brain tumour thing. Get over it already. Someone once asked me what my ‘day to day’ looks like and I think that’s the toughest bit.... my day to day looks totally different to how it used to and is ever changing. On Saturday night I was much more like my old self.....today I’ve got a pounding headache and am a bit stressed out due to blood tests and Storm Ophelia. The change in air pressure (I assume) gives me a headache like none I could ever imagine. Always did! I’m sure I’ve said it before, but two things guaranteed to give me blinding headaches that I was aware of prior to diagnosis were storms and anyone using an e-cigarette in my vicinity. It remains the same now, although the headaches are worse (due to treatment swelling I’d imagine). I can, and do, stay away from anyone vaping, but I can’t do much about Ophelia. Thankfully she’s moving quick so hopefully will be through quick. A duvet day is allowed...... especially as I’m also waiting for blood results later on. Poor marks will see tomorrow’s chemo put off. I hate the thought of another round of chemo, but it would be another one done and would put me at the halfway point. I committed to doing it but I just want it over with now!
I wasn’t sure if going out on Sat night would be too much. I had faint concerns about doing too much ahead of Tuesday, but I knew I’d be safe and hubby would bring me home if necessary. Sometimes you don’t know you’ve done too much until you do too much, and it can be good to push a bit!. In this case, thankfully, that doesn’t appear to have been the case.
Yesterday brought another good day, measuring trees 🌲 (I was made aware that Rosie has a boyfriend...... she does but he’s 6m 8 so she’s still the boss!) I am now in contact with the National Trust and hope to get information updated! They’re also talking about doing up a Tree Trail, where you can visit all the ancient trees on NT properties. Somewhat quirky I’ll admit, but actually surprisingly interesting when you start reading! The book, The Hidden Life of Trees, might leave you with an interest you hadn’t expected to gain! Or maybe I’ve just been off work too long....... Either way, I’m considering changing my name to Yogi and running tree hugging classes!!
So after a great week, Ophelia appears to be kicking my ass a bit today. But like all other negative things in our lives, Ophelia is only passing through. Far more important are the constants. The positive people all around us. I’m confident I’m Ophelia proof. Let’s get halfway through this bit...... the last bit...... then I can go singing beside campfires and measuring trees, without over thought! Xxx
No comments:
Post a Comment