Good times!

In amongst the crap, there are so many good times! The past couple of weeks have been a bit up and down for a variety of reasons. None of them particularly major in the bigger scheme, but each one just placing a slightly heavier weight onto the shoulders. I'd been getting through each one fine, but anxiety levels were definitely raised a bit and it was taking genuine effort to keep everything level. I booked a wee emergency Reiki session in, just to give me a bit of help.

This morning I woke up really early, very shaky and heart thumping. I've woken up like that all week. It's been ages since I've felt like that so consistently. I've been managing it, but it's horrible. 

After my chemo setback on Tuesday I'd visited my doctor yesterday to get my mouth and throat checked (keep having problems with them), and to check about what all the blood test results actually mean. He was brilliant. Talking me through each one and providing some explanation and reassurance. I've been put on antibiotics again for my throat. It'll be good to get that shifted as it's making the back of my tongue and throat feel swollen....... uncomfortable and definitely not nice for someone who spent some of the early time in hospital convinced they were going have a seizure and choke on their own tongue..... (not possible apparently, but try telling that to a very scared girl). Anyway, as I was leaving the surgery I had one of my normal fortuitous turn of events, when I met a former work colleague who lives near me. Handy as I was about to book a taxi. He even stopped to get my prescription on the way! Good people all around.....

I felt pretty bad this morning. Truthfully I've been really fighting that throat infection, not letting myself admit I was feeling poorly. Having it confirmed I think allowed me to stop fighting it a bit and I decided it was acceptable to have a quiet day. But first.......... A-Level results! My son was due his so we were all up and ready for the big news. Maybe I just wasn't meant to do chemo this week, because if I had I wouldn't have been able to jump round the bedroom with my husband and son, crying and shouting for joy! Excellent results and into the course he wanted to study at Queens University. Happy, happy, happy!!

Next! Reiki. Although my spirits were high walking in, I was still feeling a bit poorly and was tired from all the whooping that had been done earlier!! As ever, my beautiful therapist got me completely calm and completely levelled out. As I was waiting for my taxi she asked me of my plans for the day. Shamelessly I admitted I was going to lie down to things a bit today and was going to get back into my jammies. Both her and another of her clients smilingly pointed out it was a beautiful day and I should consider making the most of it. This plan developed into a quite wonderful one whereby I would ask the taxi driver collecting me to take me for a cuppa in a lovely cafe near the beach, wait for me and bring me home! I gave my dad a quick call first, just in case he wanted to join me, but he was in the middle of his apartment block's residents group meeting (which I always imagine to be like the town meetings in The Vicar of Dibley!) 

"Here, this will probably sound a bit mad, but I've just been persuaded it'd be a great idea to head out to a cafe {quite far away} before going home. You up for it?? You'd have to wait for me. Tell you what, I'll even buy you a coffee. It'll be fun!" He was up for it but his controller was a cross lady who was shouting about cars' tanks not being filled by drivers. As I realised there was no way she'd agree (driver was equally cynical), I also remembered I had a tablet to take about 20 mins later.  Nah, best take me home.

Grand until I got home and realised how utterly boring I was being! I was so disappointed in myself. Had I learnt nothing? Grab life!! Hubby was at work and my son was off with his mates, though it's less fun when it doesn't feel a bit irresponsible anyway........ So I put out the call. Just to a couple of friends I felt I might just be able to persuade to get into a tiny bit of mischief on a sunny day! Whilst two felt the pull, one let it drag her in........

"The mole had been working very hard all the morning, spring cleaning his little home. First with brooms, then with dusters, then on ladders and steps and chairs, with a brush and a pail of whitewash...... It was small wonder, then, that he suddenly flung down his brush on the floor, said 'Bother!' and 'oh blow!' and also 'hang spring cleaning!' and bolted out of the house without even waiting to put on his coat".......(another one from Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame)

And so my wonderful friend appeared! Having abandoned what she was doing and apologising for her clothing (looked fine to me but seems they were 'cleaning clothes') And off we went, adventuring. We drove out to the fabulous cafe that had been recommended, The Bothy overlooking White Park Bay. I appreciate that eating broccoli soup perhaps doesn't seem like the biggest rebellion in the world....... but it was the spontaneous act of just roping someone in and doing our own thing. An afternoon spent in good company, not thinking about much else at all, just the good time we were having. I didn't look at my watch once and the only phone contact I made was with hubby (just to be sure search party wasn't sent out). 

I know I have a million, sickening, positives that I keep harping on about, but.......... another good thing to have come out of a terrible time, is that you should DO more! Don't always be shackled by the 9-5. Yes, we need to work and bills need paid. If you're lucky you'll get a job that you love, like I have. It doesn't mean you can't be a bit irresponsible sometimes. Not quite the literally genius that Kenneth Grahame was (and it's probably sacrilege to have their names in the same paragraph), but as Sebastian Bach (formerly of rock band Skid Row) told us;

"Can't be king of the world if you're slave to the grind"

As a note of caution, he also said;

"Shake, shake, shake it like a rattlesnake
Boom, boom baby out go the lights
Shake, shake, shake it like a rattlesnake
Staying up late doing the rattlesnake shake"

So you don't always need to take him too literally....... Regardless, I think the message is clear........ live a bit! Sometimes it's ok to just grab a friend and say "Come on!" And yet again I'm reminded of my Support Network and the family and friends that have held me up from day one. What a wonderful day! Xxx