In my ongoing bid to get on with as normal a life as possible, I have pushed through reducing steroid medications. This is undoubtedly impacting on my levels of tiredness, but is also helping me get healthier sleep at night. I still never sleep the whole night through, but I find it easier to get back over to sleep after I wake up. So I’ll wake at between 3 and 4am as usual, but can often then doze on and off until after 5.30.
However, after such a long time, you don’t just “fix” your sleep pattern. It’s still troublesome and I’ve also managed to break hubby’s sleep pattern a bit too..... though I still admire his ability to even share a bed with me at all! After the horror of seeing my initial grand mal seizure back in January 2017, I’m amazed he ever slept again! I have friends who get uncomfortable if I even blink funny, in case I suddenly spin into an epileptic fit, yet poor hubby shares a bed with me every night and puts up with all my nocturnal wanderings and adventures. Only twice has he delivered ‘pay back’....... once a few weeks ago when he woke me at 3.30am by sneezing onto my face, and then the other morning when he woke me at 4am because I had gradually crept over to his side of the bed, leaving him with an inch of space and roasting hot!
Last night was my night to start again..... Our son was working late last night but then had to be up early this morning for work again ..... he’s not an early bird and asked if I’d help and make sure he was up by 0630. No problem for me! I heard him up and duly woke hubby up - “that’s him up. I can hear him moving around. I’m just going to lie a second and then I’ll make doubly sure he’s on the move.” Hubby’s circadian rhythm told him something wasn’t quite right...... “Are you sure?? Is that not him just coming home??” And then it dawned on me..... oops!! I’ve learnt to tell the time by the light in the room and by the birds (they also tell me the weather..... truth!) And so I realised my mistake; the room was too dark and there were no birds singing......Hmmm...... dare I look?? I guess I should..... 02.07am....... oops!! Sorry honey!! Poor son only getting home from work, not getting up!
So my circadian rhythm remains faulty. BUT birds talk to me and tell me what the weather is like! As I finally ditch the steroid medication, I can’t wait to sleep through a whole night again, but I’ll never stop listening to Mr Blackbird, Mr Robin and Mr Crow telling me the time and all about the weather. That’s what being unwell can do for you. A scare can make you appreciate the things we never normally notice because our lives are too busy.
I’ll fix my circadian rhythm and set it to Wild Wood and/or Wide World time if I must, but I’ll always be sure I spend time going back to the Riverbank to talk to the birds.
Priorities. Simple things. Living with....
“Gradually the Rat sank into a troubled doze, broken by starts and confused murmurings of things strange and wild and foreign to the unenlightened Mole; and from that he passed into a deep slumber.”
(The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame)
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