Scantastic......

It’s been a pretty overwhelming few weeks. Reducing steroid medications has been rough, I’ve been getting back into work, sisters wedding is getting close, I had a scan, and then there was all the news over my neurologist being under investigation. Nothing to cause me serious stress, but just lots going on at once. 

Then today I got a letter. The postman handed it to me as I sat in the car, waiting for hubby, about to go to Sainsbury’s. I saw the City Hospital stamp on the envelope and felt my heart sink. It’s about the neurologist, isn’t it?? This is my recall. Well, no, actually it wasn’t...... it was scan results. Good scan results. I’ve attached a photo of what it says (and am even sensible enough to cut off the top and bottom so I haven’t given my over 55,000 blog hits my full identity details!)  I have a photocopy of this letter pinned to my utility room door. I cried and I laughed and I cried some more. We could ask for no more. I’d have been delighted to hear ‘stable’..... ‘indeed slightly improved’ was beyond my wildest dreams. 

I’ve always believed deep down that I could beat this thing. I’ve always been sure I would live with it for many years. I’ve always tried to stay positive. But I’m not superhuman. I’m not the Wonder Woman some of you sometimes seem to think I am. Sometimes I lie and say I’m grand when I’m not really. Other times I tell the truth if I’m struggling, but then feel guilty in case I upset others. It has only been through time and the love and support of family and friends that I’ve slowly learnt how to stay calm, not rush and be kind to myself. 

To hear things are stable and may even be a bit better is like a tonne weight lifted off my shoulders. I would imagine all cancer patients would feel the same. 

There’s nothing else to say. I still need your support, I remain eternally grateful for it, and it appears I’m upholding my side of the bargain!

Living with...... xxx