Somewhat weirdly (and I blame the steroids for this), ‘high’ moods like yesterday often result in me obsessively craving sugar. I am ashamed to say I ate so much yesterday that I left myself feeling physically sick. That’s not right...... disgusting and really unhealthy. I ended up with a stomach like a bowling ball, feeling uncomfortable yet still completely hyper.
Working on my food habits and diet is a big part of my strategy for moving forwards and beating this thing. I’m writing honestly about it because I’m sure I’m not alone in finding it difficult to manage my way through. Steroids do strange things and I’m glad to be getting off them. Everyone has advice about what you should and shouldn’t eat..... googling it will just confuse even more.
Personally, I’m trying to keep it simple. I came up with my plan and discussed it with my dietician, who agreed. Ive attached a photo of what I’ve stuck to the side of my fridge! Cutting the sugar will be the biggest thing for me, but I’ve read everywhere that it feeds cancer cells..... not worth the risks. I won’t completely ban it because then it’ll become a ‘thing’ and I’ll end up craving it more, but I am paying more attention to labels etc. Note - see all those bars that are being pushed as healthy etc? Read the labels...... you’d often be better with a Snickers! Ive got 3 weeks until I’m matron of honour to my sister. We’re ‘sheddin for the weddin’..... I’ve got 2 stone to get off..... bye bye steroids, bye bye ‘steroid baby’!
Last night I had my usual troubled nights sleep. The 3am’s strike every night, regardless of what I do. I was more content though and able to go back to sleep. A good part of the steroid reductions is that I still waken, but usually find it easier to go back over to sleep. This morning I even fell back asleep deeply enough to have a dream. I take this as a really good sign as it means I was beyond just dozing and was properly asleep. I don’t remember much of it, but I was on a rollercoaster with hubby beside me. The coaster carriage went up into the night sky and was flying through the stars. Ahead I could see a large constellation that I recognised as Ursula Major...... (in reality I wouldn’t have a clue about constellations!)...... but I couldn’t remember it’s name and for reason shouted out “MANILA”!! I have no idea if I actually shouted, or if I only imagined I had. God love my husband. I have no idea how he still shares a bed with me! At least he more or less got peace until 6am today...... patience of a saint.
Cancer is hard on the whole family. Not to mention the wider SupportTeam. I remain surrounded by stars. I promised a long time ago that I wouldn’t let you down. Let’s keep crashing through the constellations..... xxx
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