I remain very tired, but certainly able to do things.... if sometimes a little slowly. My balance has been a little off, but I'm assuming that's the ear..... although it has to be said that the offending ear is starting to feel a bit better...... maybe....... sometimes.......
The main thing recently has been working through 'food paranoia'....... the list of foods to avoid etc when on PCV chemo is a little confusing for someone whom doesn't really really think much about what they shove in their face! It's hard to get ideas for what you can actually eat and also that's quick and easy to make. We're not quite there yet, but we did sit down last night to cauliflower rice with chicken, scallions and tumeric...... very tasty indeed but unfortunately there's no way that's happening again until sis is back over!! The next investment has been a slow cooker and we'll take it from there....... my basic rule is that I've cut out anything processed and anything with a pile of preservatives. Natural, healthy fare. The problem is going to be finding time to buy it fresh (particularly with me unable to drive) and knowing what to do with it! I generally don't buy anything without cooking instructions stuck on the back, so it's going to be interesting...... We're all willing to give it a go though because it makes sense, and is known to make s msssive difference to cshcer pstients. Just another thing I can do to try and help myself........... ok then!
Today has been pretty much idyllic. Sis, hubby and I went to a place in Kells called "The Garden Across the Road"....... it's pretty much what it says on the tin....... a garden and another one across the road. It's used as a wedding venue and opened to the public on various days during the year. Hubby had seen it while working in the area and knew it'd be something I'd love. He was so right!
It was simply beautiful. Not landscaped, manicured gardens; rather wild flowers, fairy houses and old bikes etc reclaimed by nature. We met three generations of the family..... grandad is very lucky I didn't kidnap him! An adorable man who'd had lymphoma, he's definitely in the list of 'people I'm glad I met'....... just a sweetheart. More warm, good energy people! Best of all was the lake......... there was a boat tied up at a small wooden jetty. I had to seriously resist the urge to jump into it and go for a wee adventure. A little blue fishing boat, exactly like the one I'd imagine Ratty rowing in Wind of the Willows!
Interestingly, I'm sure I blogged before about my recent Wind in the Willows obsession........ I read it every day. Must be on my fourth time finishing now! It's just the most beautiful and relaxing book. I make a point of reading it if I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed. I've bought copies for friends too...... people who've done special things for me, who I know will appreciate it's beauty and who are maybe struggling to find time to relax. While at the gardens my sister and I had a random conversation about childhood toys...... the ones you dragged everywhere with you. She had a Snoopy....... he ended up so loved his poor head nearly fell off!! I had a Paddington. But while we were talking I suddenly remembered....... Moley!! I'd forgotten all about him, I'd been so young when I had him. He was just a wee cuddly mole, with a felt carrot-like nose. It occurred to me that maybe the reason I'm finding Wind in the Willows so relaxing is because I was read it as a child....... I can't think of too many other mole characters that a young child would feel they wanted with them everywhere...... It's amazing what the mind can lock away........ Having lost my mum when I was only 5, I now suspect that she used to read it to me. Truthfully, I'm convinced she did. I'm sure it'd be a psychologists dream, but I just think it's quite sweet that you naturally revert to childhood comforts when something scary happens. I'll keep reading it and taking the relaxation from it. I'm sure I'll know it off by heart soon!!
Later on today I was with my beautiful reiki master, who worked her usual magic, ensuring I'm relaxed and calm and able to go back out into the Wild World again........ tomorrow......... for tonight I'll just stick to the riverbank. Xxx
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