My son is a bit of a budding photographer and has an excellent eye, in my inexpert opinion! When I was first diagnosed we bought him a good quality camera, with the hope it would encourage him and also allow him to get outside and get some headspace. He quite often goes out and comes back with beautiful photos from around the North Coast. Every so often he forgets to charge the camera, or just sees an opportunity and takes them with his phone instead. He posts them on Instagram, often giving them really inspired titles. The other day he showed me one he took of Mussenden Temple at sunset that was just stunning. This morning I was really doing nothing productive at all...... people keep telling me to write a book or a short story, and I had a sudden burst of inspiration...... I lifted the faithful Surface Pro and wrote a very short story called "The Photograph", based on the picture he'd taken. I've probably listened to one too many 'sleep stories'......... Airy fairy nonsense no doubt, but I didn't care because it was for my son. Inspired by his photo. And for my husband and sister, with whom I've spent so many happy hours in the Downhill area, both before and since diagnosis. I sent it to him and told him to be honest with me, but not too brutal. He's a soft big lump, but he's not one to butter things up too much either. I was a bit nervous thinking about him reading it. I knew he was at work and probably didn't have much time on his break. Any parent will be able to imagine how much my heart sang when he texted to say it was 'lovely'..... self doubting, I told him not to lie if it was rubbish. He said it was a 'really nice read' before pointing out a typo! I was just getting my eyes dried when my door knocked......
A delivery....... of a beautiful cushion with a bee embroidered on it...... my sister! I can't even remember now why bees became our 'special animal'..... living in Manchester, my sister has long since held a love of them. For me they became significant through the sharing of honey shampoo, watching a bee keeping priest and a reiki master who's name can be translated as honey bee. Regardless, to receive such a beautiful gift in the post from my beautiful, strong and ever supportive sister was always going to lead to smiles and tears all at once!
By 1pm my heart had been warned more than many have theirs warmed in their whole lifetimes. There was more to come..... as there often is...... a phone call from a dear friend who I love very much. Someone who picked me up recently when I was feeling very low. I had sent her a copy of The Wind in the Willows as I knew she'd 'get it'. I knew she'd appreciate the beauty of it and understand why I advised curling up in a quiet corner for some 'me time' with it. She did. To hear her delight and discover it had arrived at a time when she'd had a bit of bad news and felt a bit gloomy herself, reminded me yet again of the importance of surrounding yourself with a network of good, sincere and positive people. It all ripples out and all our lives are improved just simply by a bit of kindness to each other.
I also received a few messages and shared online laughs today and yesterday from people I just like. Fun and positive people. The ones who genuinely have my back and are skilled at both building me up and making me laugh. I have an awful lot of those people...... they're great and I love them.
After story writing and relishing in how wonderful my friends and family are, I was off to the gym! To find out more details about the cancer rehab classes. My friend kindly took me as it seems everyone in this house is determined to go out to work daily!! I look forward to doing the same again myself. My friend is hilarious. One of the funniest people I've ever known. A ball of energy and fun. Exactly the sort of person you'd want around you. The gym girl was lovely. Very friendly and fun. She described the classes and I left feeling excited at the prospect of another step forward. My friend can even attend with me as a carer......... honestly not sure who'd be caring for who, but I hope the trainer is right in her assertion that it's a great fun class and that we will be 'assets to the class'. More buddies!
As ever, I'm not naive to the difficult road that's ahead, but I also know lying in bed all day will not help me. Getting the balance. I frequently get it wrong........ then I realise I've got it wrong........ then I fix it again, with the help of family and friends. Steps forward, steps back, steps forward again. Most importantly, my Support Team staying strong and not flinching. Xxx
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