"Pooh was sitting in his house one day, counting his pots of honey, when there came a knock on the door.
'Fourteen' said Pooh. 'Come in. Fourteen. Or was it fifteen? Bother. That's muddled me.'"
From The House at Pooh Corner by A.A. Milne
unreliable, I've always kept alarms set on my phone for when to take medications. Generally now it's only 7am and 7pm, although sometimes that can vary a bit e.g. If I'm in the middle of a chemo cycle or am on an antibiotic (as I am at the moment as s precaution for my ear). I meticulously make up weekly pill boxes and make sure my alarms are all set, every Friday without fail. I even write in my diary if I've taken paracetamol. I try not to take them, but when I do I never remember and am always conscious of how easy it'd be for me to take too many. As a result, I was suffering sometimes very painful headaches without taking anything because I wasn't sure if I already had, or if so what time at.
I have been so careful, but I guess it had to happen sometime....... I'm on an antibiotic for my ear at the moment and take it three times a day, including at 5pm. Due to the number of containers in my pillboxes, I put the 5pm tablet in with my 7pm anti seizure medication tablet, but when alarm went off knew which one to take as they look totally different and I'm completely capable of sorting that sort of thing myself now......
My 5pm alarm went off during dinner and I went to get the tablet. All grand. Then my 7pm alarm went off........ I lifted the pill box......... hhhmmmm........ yep, no tablet in the pillbox. Have I taken it at 5pm? Probably. The problem is that anything is possible with me if I've lost focus......... I was incredibly tired at teatime after a busy day. Plus I was really enjoying my dinner! We've searched everywhere. No extra tablets in any other pillbox sections, not sitting beside, not on floor or under bedside cabinet, not on kitchen table where I was eating, not on any surface on route (bookcase, breakfast bar etc all checked), not in jeans pocket....... So I've taken it...... Right??....... Bound to have...... I've just made a mistake and taken the two together because they were in same section.......... of course I have........... If only I could remember doing it.........
In true Winne the Pooh style I've sat down and concentrated really hard.... "think. Think. Think." Nope, nothing. Rationally...... I've taken it, I just need to trust myself. I'm not stupid. Also this is a tablet I take 750mg of every morning and night, and have done for months. Even if I have missed a dose, it's in my system. I haven't had what I would class as a 'proper' seizure since February, and that was straight after surgery, so probably not much surprise. I take 'absence seizures' but I don't generally even break my stride with them now. They only happen at a level that anyone would notice if it's a really bad one and that's very rare and predominantly stress induced. And you'd probably only notice because I'd told you....
I rang the doctor just to be sure, but we're in agreement that the most sensible thing is to forget about it and just take dose in morning as usual. It'd probably be far more dangerous to take a double dose and it seems far more likely I've taken it. What I need to ensure now is that I stay totally relaxed, otherwise I'll trigger a seizure through stress whether I've taken the damned tablet or not!!
Reading and sleeps for me. Thankfully I'm knackered after another busy day. After a quick dog walk and visit to the in laws, it was off to the supermarket...... It's a whole new world of corguetti, butternut squwaffles, cauliflower rice and sweet potato fries....... I was never really a foodie. Like the rest of me, my food tastes are generally plain, and I've no real interest in cooking. But now I know a really healthy diet can make a massive difference to outcomes, so I'm trying to help myself as much as I can. Hubby is very supportive..... which is just as well as he's really had to take over that side of things. I can't drive to go and buy stuff and the evening tends to be when my battery runs down just enough for me not to be entirely trustworthy with a cooker........ like the tablet, I may not always remember I've turned the oven on...... I'm trying to take on a bit more of the house stuff again now, as I'm very conscious hubby is out working all day and he really shouldn't be coming home to wait on me hand and foot. If I'm looking at back to work options, then I should st least start helping out at home too!! I'm not completely awful..... I tidy up, sort washing and do a bit of dusting, but there's little doubt that hubby is bearing the brunt.
The cooking could be interesting....... I've no idea what half this stuff is, never mind what to do with it!! But we'll get there. Gotta be worth it and I'll do whatever I need to do to help the medical based side of things. Before you know it I'll be wandering round farmers markets in sandals and keeping chickens in the back garden (though I suspect Izzy will object.....!)
I'll go to sleep slightly nervous tonight..... the 'seizure in the night' fear is one of my deepest rooted..... let's face it, that's what started this journey........ But, I spent months in fear, just not feeling safe. I'll never let anything make me feel that way again.
I took the tablet, I'm relaxed, im going to finish watching Countryfile (I know.... but it's interesting!), I'm going to read and then im going to get a great night's sleep, just like I did last night! Xxx
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