Still fighting...... conquering Everest.....

Surgery no 1 yesterday. Back on ward by late afternoon. Fighting violently against any form of opiate based pain relief. So no morphine or fentanol. Yesterday and today I am being treated using paracetamol and ibruprophen. I have two mighty black eyes and a scar that will run up my entire scull, fro my jawline right into my head.

Part of Spongy has been removed from my right temporal lobe. Notcwll, but part. In a week or so we'll get pathology, however we already know it's malignant, probably low grade and there for years.

Every day I talso ake steroids to try and reduce steroid, anti epilepsy medication.

Since being on this rehab ward I am understanding so much more about brain injuries. I am learning how to relearn Neuro pathways. I am learning to take my time and that it can be done. I'm learning I'm not going mad and that this is the same for people with strokes, tumours and aneurysms.

Today my sister and I rebuilt a pathway that allowed me to stand up and walk. Tomorrow we will work on that further.

I have had a 'brain drain' removed. Lorerally a drain stitched into my brain...... Agony. The act only made possible by the patience and support of a doctor and a nurse who were willing to offer me reassurance and patience. Plus my sister. As ever.

My biggest valence remains eoilepsy. Absence seizures. Only managed by me through positivity Blasts. Vitally important. My surgeon actively encourages what I've been doing. So when I feel negative or scared, I look at your selfies or read your texts/ whatsapps. This stops me having an Ensure no absence seizures and keeps me safe.

Tonight I lie with my blanket of love at my feet. My Buddhist prayer blanket over my chest. I'm looking at photos you guys have sent me bad I'm thinking happy thoughts. Knowing it'll quite literally save my life.

I'm exhausted. I'm scared. But I'm fighting. The same way you're fighting for me.

I'm listening to others on the ward tell their stories and I'm remembering I'm not alone.

I love you. You are saving my life.

When this is over I will make sure that others understand. 

My husband. My sister. My surgical team. My rehab ward comrades. Saving my life.