Why??

Why am I blogging?

Since being diagnosed with a brain tumour, I have been surrounded by an overwhelming outpouring of complete love and support.  "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times".  Whilst clearly there are scary times ahead, I am also completely overwhelmed by the pure goodness of humanity that has been shown to me by people I have known through all walks of life.  This has included family, friends and work colleagues.  Each person has given something slightly different, yet each person has given the same - support and complete understanding.  Non judgemental, complete acceptance to do whatever I need to help fight this to the best of my ability.

I want people to know what they've done and why it has been so important.  My attitude to this is very clear......  I have a serious condition.  It's complex.  There are surgeries scheduled.  Very different surgeries.  I am spending the time up until 22nd February preparing myself mentally and physically as best I can.  I am controlling the bits within my gift.  I am also trusting a neuro surgeon who I believe to be very capable and who I trust.  I am setting parameter with her about what I feel are acceptable outcomes to me.  She is directing me, but also listening to me.  There is ultimately some areas that I cannot control.  There is a leap of faith.  I am leaping, but I am adopting the brace position first......... 

So two main messages here - I do not believe this is my time.  I believe I will beat this, along with a 'Support Team' to be reckoned with.  However (and please don't take this as negative, because it is meant as the opposite), if my body does something we could not have controlled, then take comfort from the fact that I will go in peace, having been surrounded by love.  There are a lot of buses out there - not many of us get to chose to put our house in order first.  If that upsets you then refer to the first point.......  I enter this fight to win.