The newly found radio buddy who told me today how beautiful all the girls' headscarves were and that he knew I'd be ok because I was clearly using my "intelligence and strength".
The staff member who I took a very small gift and card to and who then came to find me to tell me she'd been having a really bad day and that the card had changed everything for her.
The fact that I had half a dozen hugs and kisses from other patients and their families within half an hour of arriving.
The fact that the husband of my dear friend who makes me lunch every day connects in hugely to another part of my day, but we hadn't realised.
The radio buddy, and fellow Billy Connolly fan, who came to tell me about another comedian that he loves and hoped I would too.
The staff member who told me about a man starting radio that was really struggling and she'd told him about me and how I'd been so upset the first week but had turned it around (I've told her to introduce him to me if it'd help....... so long as he doesn't mind 'chatty'!)
The girl who works in my local shop who commented she hadn't seen me for ages..... the resulting conversation ending up with her telling me she'd had a brain tumour last year and conpletely understood. Hers was very different to mine...... as I'm discovering is often the case. There are lots and lots of types! Mine isn't going to be pulled out down my nose (seems everyone knows of someone who's had that done!) but nor is it giving me a scarily short life expectancy (which is the case for at least one of my radio buddies). Logic would tell you it'll end up a lot smaller than it was when I was 'normal'..... a big chunk removed, plus radio to stop regrowth and hopefully get rid of some more.
The guy who suggested I try cannabis oil and then backtracked like nothing I've ever seen when I explained that probably wasn't going to be for me, particularly given my employment.......we'd never previously talked about where we worked! I don't tend to lie if someone asks me. As I've explained before, I've always worked in outward facing roles, and I'm also pretty proud of the organisation I work for. He's at least the third person to sing of cannabis oil benefits and I know it's now legal in Ireland, however I'll stick to NI legal options!! It bothers me to take prescription drugs...... I'm not going to start playing Russian roulette with illegal substances that have probably been made on the floor of a Chinese sweatshop...... or worse still, made by groups cashing in on the hope of scared people. Each to their own, but not for me.
Physically I don't feel great, but it's all manageable. Headaches, waves of nausea, and some absences that can be a little off putting........ but I'm dealing with it all so far. Im a little nervous about it getting worse over the last few weeks of radio (it feels good to say that.... last few weeks!), but I try not to think about it too much as I know the impact anxiety and stress can have on me. I'm not prepared to go there again, and thanks to ongoing family and friend support, the odd reminder to myself that it's ok and I am in control, plus talking to happy people and doing my reiki and relaxation exercises, I know I won't go back to the quivering mess I was. I know often people outside family and very close friends didn't see it, but I was in a very bad place for a while. I'm not ashamed to admit that and I know I'm not alone. Getting through that has been my biggest battle, but once you admit it and sort it once, you know you'll never let it happen again. A consultant described it to me as 'just stress'...... there's no such thing!
My journeys up continue to be a pleasure. My friend and I are considering a new tv show..... 'Bus Share'....... Peter Kay unfortunately becomes unwell and has to travel to hospital for treatment on a regular basis...... oh, the characters he will meet!! (He'll move to NI so he can move back in with his mum). Some will try to sit on his knee, some will sing Ziggy Stardust with him, some will mistake him for the ambulance driver's assistant, some won't say a word, others will enjoy his company so much they'll ask for his phone number! I think it'll be a great show....... xxx
Looking forward to Bus Share coming to a screen near me! AMO (press office)
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