As usual, friends and family have kept me held up through chats and messages. I was emotional this morning..... because I was tired and felt sick. Some lovely texts etc made me smile.
At lunchtime a friend arrived and gave my hair a wee trim. There's really nothing I can do with it at the moment anyway, but she just took the straggly ends off for me. I knew I could trust her to be gentle and careful and she didn't disappoint. Plus she was lovely company. Just another one of my multi talented friends..... a work colleague and former hairdresser who also often brings me lovely food (leek and potato soup today!) How lucky am I to know such clever and generous people??
I did get out for a walk this evening, but I didn't have one on my own today. I'll see if I'm a bit less tired tomorrow. If I'm learning one thing, it's that everything changes! So today wasn't a great one, but tomorrow could very easily be the total opposite. If it's not tomorrow then it'll be within a few days time..... I look forward to the time when things just level out and become a constant state. I'm definitely finding the good days are much improved. Unfortunately this tends to make the bad days a bigger crash. The rollercoaster has become more Disney World than Barry's.... I feel confident that at some stage the carriage will get stuck at the top of a dip and stay there..... which actually happened to a friend of mine on Barry's Big Dipper around 30 years ago.... pretty dramatic but rectified by the old 'just shake it about' tactic....! I'm sure she's never been on a rollercoaster since..... I'd get off mine if I could. But unfortunately I don't have that choice. For whatever reason this is the hand I've been dealt. Honestly, I could do without it. I'm sure my family and friends feel the same. As I'm sure everyone who's unwell do. We don't get these choices. We just have to hunker down and get on with it.
So here's hoping for a less tired day tomorrow. Regardless, I'll be taking advantage of the weekend and making sure I get out. Fresh air always improves things. I'll keep reminding myself that it's temporary. I'll focus on the positives..... of which there are so many in my life.
I've got 2 weeks of my gorgeous son at home with me. He'll be studying and working some days too, but it'll be lovely just to know he's in the house most days. Plus hubby has a couple of days off for Easter coming up so that'll be good too. I wouldn't want babysat all day, every day. It wouldn't be a normal state and I'd feel like a burden (I often already do, despite what anyone says to me), but I'd be lying if I said it isn't nice to know there's people about sometimes. I hate anyone doing it as a 'duty', but I do often relish company or just knowing there's someone in the house. Remember, I've gone from a busy working environment surrounded by people, to being at home all day. That's difficult. I know I probably need a 'project' of some description..... a number of people have said that to me and it makes sense. The problem I have is that I'm so unreliable and I also try to limit my time in front of a screen as I'm quite sure it made my absence seizures more frequent. I wish I was artistic!! I could paint or colour...... but I'm rubbish. My skills lie in researching, writing reports, doing a good spreadsheet...... One friend has suggested lego.... maybe not the worst plan I've ever heard! Ive puzzle books too and am starting to look at them. I need them to challenge me but not totally frustrate me. I've ordered to GCHQ one..... that could be interesting.....!! If anyone has any ideas for 'things to keep Tricia busy without totally overloading her' then please contact me. All options considered! And remember, I might have stuff going on but my favourite hashtag remains #stillnotstupid
Xxx
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