Showers and reiki

Our shower broke this morning. No big deal. We have two and my father in law is a retired electrician so we could always get it fixed. But nooooooo..... all my emotions are so amplified and I went into full catastrophising again..... Clearly something was smouldering somewhere and the house was going to burn down. This is at 7am. I was spiralling into a complete state and being a bitch. Hubby's trying to explain its early and he'll get it sorted after 9. I'm throwing a full guilt trip on him. Not deliberately, but to me this is the single most important thing in the world and it needs fixed immediately. Plus he's clearly not taking me seriously. Not reading my mind, yet again..... Not content, I called in the girlies! I have a whatsapp group with three wonderful friends who, like my sister, just never question my quirks or overreactions. Within a very short space of time we have an emergency spark on his way and I'm starting to calm. Turns out I've known him for decades anyway.... just hadn't realised he did that type of work. A no-nonsense type of guy; straight in, straight to work, fixed in no time. Exactly what I needed. 

My friend then took me to reflexology and reiki. I had been supposed to do this before but had a really bad day and hadn't been able to go. I should've given myself a shake, because that's exactly the day I should've gone! This was the most relaxing thing I have ever done. She was amazing. I felt safe, unworried and just completely relaxed and with no stress. I'm aware I've gone from being a very practical and questioning person, to one who takes great comfort from priests, prayer and healing hands. I'm not embarrassed by that. I've been missing out all these years by dismissing things. This has been, and continues to be, a horrible and very frightening experience. I'll take comfort from wherever I damned well please!! 

It's like what I said at the very beginning...... that I'd felt drawn to particular people with no real explanation. Comfort and relaxation is the same. Maybe everything doesn't need to be explained. Whatever works for you as an individual you should completely embrace. And for the  doubters (like I would've been...).... keep your nose out! Everyone has a right to be happy and relax in whatever way works for them. Open your mind and see what happens...... you might just benefit.

Anyway, one final interesting story about reiki. And this is one I'd never have believed unless it had happened to me..... with my eyes closed I was asked to say where she was holding her hands over and what colour I saw. I kid you not when I say I felt very strong warmth on my face and very clearly saw the colour green. Sure enough, she had one hand over my stomach and the other over my face. I've since googled and green in reiki is linked to healing. I left that room feeling like everything was ok. Relaxed. Safe. No anxiety whatsoever. The wonderful girl who carried this out even refused to take payment, saying sometimes she gets payment 'in other ways'. So to anyone feeling a bit tense or anxious, I'd say try something religious or spiritual. See what works for you. I have received amazing relaxation and peace from reiki, a priest and prayers from many different denominations...... I would've been very dismissive before, but now I know it's all ok. 

I followed reiki up with another beach walk. I'm sitting now, so chilled out now I can barely keep my eyes open! Unfortunately my life is planned around medications and food now so I can't really go to sleep until after 7pm medications and eightsies food to keep my blood sugars up. After that I'm confident I'll sleep the whole night through. I did last night too, but I'd imagine tonight will be particularly settled. The past few days I've felt more like myself than I have since surgery. The negative bit of me is annoyed that I'm feeling better just in time to get knocked by the next treatment..... but the positive bit of me always ultimately wins through....... I'm getting stronger. I'm healing. I'm ready for radio. If it knocks me back a bit (which it might not... everyone is different and I've heard some very positive stories) then I'll have the strength to pick myself back up..... just as I've done from the start after every difficult stage. With the help of family and friends, a positive attitude and the ability to relax, I can get back to a normal life. A bit different, but probably a lot better in many ways. 

Xxx