Week 1..... tick!!

At the start of the week I was very doubtful I could do 6 weeks of radio..... That sounds weak and a bit snivelly, but it's the truth. My sister and hubby got me through the first 4 days....... If I'd been on my own I wouldn't have gone. Despite what they tell you about it being 2 weeks before side effects kick in, this is complete nonsense. Well, it is for me. From day 1, immediately after treatment I feel dizzy, have a thumping headache, am over sensitised particularly to noise, and often feel a bit nauseous. It's been the same every day. I can hardly open my eyes after. I force myself to go for walks and stay awake so I can sleep at night..... 'one, two, Freddie's coming for you.....'........ I was so relieved yesterday to have someone believe me and acknowledge that everyone is different and that she often sees people who find the first week the hardest. I'm not expecting this to get easier, but I know how I feel and it's frightening and unfair when you don't quite follow the text book version of what should happen. Thankfully my sis and hubby pulled me through the first 4 days, and today I managed to fly solo...... I went up on hospital transport and was treated and on my way home within half an hour! 

The transport was grand. Turns out the driver and I had quite a few people in common and a shared love of music, so we had plenty to chat about. My fellow passengers included a man going for dialysis...... deeply unimpressed and of the firm belief that medical professionals are making him worse. I can understand where that attitude would come from that if I'm honest...... I'm the girl who's threatened to run away and not take any more treatment on at least five occasions. Ultimately I'm not stupid though. As hard as the treatment is, it's being done for a reason. I also strongly believe I can help myself with a positive attitude and strength of character. I don't manage it all the time, but I always pull it back with the help of those around me. Anyway, he grumbled but he was in the bus and he went into the hospital. Good for him. My other busmate was a somewhat quieter older lady. Going to get a scan done and pretty unphased by the whole thing. 

I'd started the day with what I thought I'd thought was the start of a panic attack, but a check of my blood sugars showed a reading of 2.2.......far too low. The symptoms are similar to anxiety. Thankfully I was able to get them up quickly with some glucose tablets and toast with jam. The steroids I'm on are supposed to raise blood sugars but mine have dropped to dangerous levels around four times........ always when I wake up in the morning. I asked for a kit to check them myself, which I do every morning and before I go to sleep. Generally they're very predictable, but the odd time they go a bit screwy. It's fairly alarming, but I know what to do so I can self manage it........ and we all know I like to be in some degree of control!

After radio today I had much the same side effects, but felt amazing because that's a week done!! A big milestone reached. It flew in and the next 5 will do the same. I still get so much strength from the other patients. We're all there, doing it! I want to growl at the waiting room..... a great big,fist clenched, 'gggggrrrrrrr' round every person seated there. Someday I might.... and I've little doubt that some will do it back! 

I was home in no time. Feeling pretty bad, but just relaxing and basking in the success of getting one week under my belt and looking forward to a long weekend off. On Tuesday I'll ride back into battle, knowing I'm more than capable and that it's a short week. 

Gggggggrrrrrrr xxxx