Damned sure I'm not being beaten by medications

I know I've made my feelings about medications clear from day one. The fact is that they've been necessary. I know this. The medical experts know what they're doing and I'm sure I've probably seemed very ungrateful with all my meds based rants. Total control freak! I've just found the side effects really difficult from the start. They've made me doubt myself and then have led to some scary things happening. Fact is that they've probably also saved my life. 

I got my blood sugars evened out this morning and have checked them about 3 times today. They're fine.

I've cried a lot today. Can't seem to stop. That's a bit alien to me..... not how I would've been. But I know I need to let it out so I'm doing that. I mostly worry that it's upsetting for those around me. I don't want them to see me constantly crying. I just can't seem to stop today so I'm letting it out.

In good news I've been up and out. A late start but I've been out to Ballintoy for s short walk. Beautiful. I'm sure I scared the life out of a few people...... two black eyes (much better than they were) and a nice craniotomy wound. Part of me is quite proud of it though. I want to tell people "I've had two craniotomies and look at me! I'm out walking and doing stuff!"

Home now and having a nice relaxing bath. Same deal as before. Not too deep, door not locked, people in house. I'll spend the whole time singing anyway! So they'll know I'm safe. Then dinner and a nice relaxing evening. 

Of course I have almost run out of strips for the blood sugar machine..... typical! Have sent the big man to the chemist. Is he's luck buying them I've issued directions that he should contact Dr on Call and get prescription urgently. Need to get sugars managed. It's important and not too difficult to do really.

A lovely mince pie and veg from my dad's partner for dinner. Great!

Quick update - blood sugar strips purchased. £15 well spent! I've checked them again and they're fine. I'm going to end up with fingers like pin cushions to match my arms at this rate! Small price to pay..... Lovely bath and looking forward to a healthy dinner. Then chill out watching crap tv. Sunday night not be so bad...... news and Countryfile perhaps?..... 

Xxx