Tie a yellow ribbon....

Right, im ready for home! Last night I was moved into my own side room. I didn't want to go. Leave the Ward of Winners?? I think not...... I attempted my usual negotiations..... even trying to find a patient who might want their own room with en suite...... unsuccessfully. Actually it turned out ok. I had a visitor from work so it was great to be able to chat about stuff privately. All helping me feel like a normal person again. Then I slept like a log (I can do that now!) Now I'm awake and looking forward to getting up and dressed, ready for home. I know it'll probably be s difficult day again though. There'll be scan results and pathology results and that's always hard to listen to. But the Big Man and I will listen, take notes, probably have a good cry, and then head home where I will re-learn how to do everything again. Which I know I can do. Yesterday I also met with the Neuro psychologist. He ran me through a series of tests. I think he was testing my ability to form new memories..... I haven't read too much about surgery on the temporal lobe, but I know it can affect your memory. I focussed really hard on the tests. It felt important that I do well. Which I did, I think. I was slow at some bits, but I guess that's to be expected. I pushed hard though. At one stage he told me, you were a little slower at that one but it's ok. If you'd done it in *whatever* time you'd have been in the top 1%. I said 'Try it again'...... I'm damned sure I'm not being beaten by a list of random items. If he's reading this now......... candle, sugar, artist, hotel, sandwich....... We did lots of other tests like the one where you have to read out colours when they're in words or the colour of the text. Plus number tests. I'm rubbish at them - always read numbers back to front. I frequently can't even read a watch ffs! I'll read 11am as 1pm etc, so the number ones were frustrating for me. Plus I was putting myself under pressure to do well. I focussed and I think I did ok. He said he'll make sure I get the results as it was clear to him I was being competitive about them. Too right I was!! This is my life we're talking about! Competitive doesn't even come into it. So I left my Ward of Winners and cake to my wee en suite. Had a great chat, even walking my visitor to the front door and finding my way back to my ward by walking back up the stairs. No bother. Then I settled down early, knowing a good night's sleep would be a good idea.  I've woken this morning motivated and ready for home. Feeling fairly well refreshed and looking forward to putting on 'outdoor' clothes! Never thought I'd be so excited to get on a pair of jogging bottoms..... there's only so long you can wear pyjamas. M TiVo is about tape and stitches removal, although one ofte nurses thinks they may be dissolvable..... I still think that's optimistic, but it'd be great if it was right. Stupid the things you get nervous about. Cut my head open twice but don't try and take blood, put in s cannula or remove stitches! I had my cannulas removed the other day. God luck to anyone who ever wants to put them back in! I said I'd wear them forever. Apparently that's an infection risk and not doable...... fair enough, but they are hateful to get put in and I won't do it easily again. Anyway, so home I go. Hopefully with some decent news and no stitches in my head. I'll have to re-build all my Neuro pathways again. Making tea, getting showered, light housework etc.... and I'll do it all no bother. Thanks to my Support Team. I'll probably drive my family mad in the process, but they're very patient. After 2 weeks I finally let my sister go home at the weekend. Truthfully I'd have kept her here forever but I have to remember she lives in Manchester and has a job! She's not my full time carer, though she's the best ever. Better than any trained nurse, physio, a wonderful showerer and the patience of a saint. I couldn't have got through any of this without her. My absolute rock. The rest of the Ward of Winners miss her too - the nurses here are generally wonderful, but my sister is the best of all.  The Ward of Winners have exchanged contact details and I hope we're exchanging happy stories really soon. I missed them last night. Inspirational. Showed me I could do it. Helped me get on with it. Reassured me. All slightly different diagnosis but all fightingbto retrain our brains. And all succeeding. Troopers! I dreaded coming to RVH. Didn't want to come here. Now I'm so glad I did. Surrounded by inspirational people plus an incredible medical team. Apparently there was a documentary on awake surgery at RVH that you can watch on YouTube. Carried out by a different surgeon to mine, but same team. I haven't watched it, not do I intend to. But it's there if you're interested. I don't feel the need to watch - I've done it thanks! Maybe one day but I'll not be googling anytime soon. Amazing what these guys can do in their day job though. Makes answering letters seem a little simple by comparison!  Thanks again to everyone who's helped, of which there have been so many. I've lots more to write (sorry!) including things like a list of things you might need if coming in for this sort of surgery, things that'll become intolerable, things that'll seem really important, how family and friends can help etc. So the blog isn't quite finished yet. Plus I'll have to update frontiday, though that might not be today......'rvh news days' are family days. We need time to get our own heads around it and to get it all out of our systems. Maybe the news will be really good and we'll be singing from the rooftops! We'll see. Either way, we'll keep on . Dealing with it all with our Team, as we have from the start. Xxx