So today I'm up and showered early. Big man hung about to ensure I was safe. I suspect my energy levels have dipped a bit due to the drop in steroids. Sure that's good - I've done nothing but whinge about them for 6 weeks for goodness sake! So a wee energy dip is worth it to get them down. Anyway I'm up today. I'm showered and hair dried..... ish..,.,,. It's not s great job, but sure it's a mess anyway! I'm dressed in non jammy items...... it's close....... not quite 'outdoor clothes' but I could answer the door without complete embarrassment. People go to the shop in worse! Not that I will answer the door. No intentions! Big Izz and I are lying on the bed, watching daytime tv. I'm up but I'm relaxing. Not doing too much, but not lying about either. I might have a doze later, we'll see.
I continue to love all your messages. Such a variety and every one brings a smile to my face. My Ward of Winners stay in touch too. I can't wait to meet up with them again. We shared something few ever do, and hopefully never have to. But it brings an unbreakabke bond. I'd do anything for them. I miss them, though I'm delighted to be home. I'm lucky to have a fairly simple, comfy house. A bit like its owners, there's nothing fancy about our house. It's a simple home. Nothing fancy. A semi detached bungalow we've been in for about 19 years. Could do with a paint. Needs the en suite re-done. Definitely needs the facias done. In a small cul de sac, with lovely neighbours. A few younger children that I've watched grow up. All boys. All gorgeous. All a credit to their parents.
At one stage we talked about moving closer to Belfast. With me working there, big man changing jobs and Fin hopefully going to Queens, it made sense. I can't imagine that now. I can't imagine ever moving out of this house! It's become my haven. It's my home. The place I've raised my son. My simple, unpretentious home. More than we could ever need. My bed is the most comfy bed in the world. I want for nothing more. No, I can't imagine ever leaving here. Big Man talked about getting a new bed and I looked at him in horror...... I don't want a new bed..... I want MY bed. The same one we've had for far too long. I don't care if the mattress needs replaced. It's mine, leave it alone, I'm sitting on it now. My blanket of love over me, along with my Buddhist prayer blanket. Big Izz is lying at my feet. Loving every second of me being home! I am completely content.
I have no idea how people do this alone. It's frightening and it's hard, but I've had so much support. I can't comprehend how you fight battles like this on your own. I don't think you could. Doesn't bear thinking about.
My head hurts quite a bit today. It did yesterday too. Not excruciating, but definitely starting to make itself known. I'm sticking with paracetamol and ibruprophen. No need for anything more than that. Not that I'd ever allow anything in my veins anyway! In fairness, it's really not too bad. Considering I had my head cut open twice in a week, a headache is really not too bad. My eyes are still black but the swelling is way down. I can see out if them. One is a bit bloodshot, but again really not that bad considering. The side of my head is quite swollen too..... it was cut open...... I'm sure it'll take a day or two!
I remain totally committed to fighting this. I remain grateful I didn't get told worse, and completely grateful to everyone who's helped and continues to help on a daily basis. I believe I will beat this. I believe I will see you all really soon and that I'll be the Trish you always knew, xxx
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