Friends and ice cream!

After feeling so much better, I had another panic attack last night. No idea where it came from. Sometimes thoughts just seem to creep in and you don't realise you're doing it. I got through it, but felt like it was threatening all evening. I slept no problem - feels a bit like I've mastered the nights and now the days have become the problem......

When I got up at my usual 7am, I didn't feel in great form. Weepy and still felt under threat of another attack. So I went back to sleep for a couple of hours. Then I got up, turned on the 80s music and had my shower etc. Shed a few tears but no panics.

Yet another lovely friend (of which I have many!) came round at 11. We had a cuppa and chatted. It was lovely to see her. Then she took me for a wee drive. Portstewart first; where we are ice cream in her car on the prom. Then a drive round to portrush and home. Exactly what I needed! I've so many friends who seem to just instinctively know what to do...... if it's not sending me messages, it's calling in to ensure my spirits don't dip. 

I never thought I'd be the girl who cries and takes anxiety attacks...... but I guess none of us know what's round the corner. The most important thing for me is to manage it all. I know I can do that, with the help of my family and friends. 

I never realised I was such an obsessive personality!! I don't actually think this has changed me all that much; it's just emphasised certain things.  It seems I get things in my head and just cannot shake them. So anything that has upset me, just becomes all I think about. That's very unhealthy..... Especially at the moment! 

I have said many times through this blog and to family/friends that I'll never worry about anything again, that my life with just be more fluid and that I'll take each day as it comes...... and then I do none of those things!! I need to start taking my own advice...... I guess a lifetime of taking things fairly seriously and being a bit tense doesn't disappear easily. I'm learning to emphasise the better sides of my personality- the Trish that loves to laugh, loves to sing, loves company and to chat...... that's the Trish that needs to come out. Not the one that worries (and can really be quite rude and demanding!)

A friend told me last night to write down each day 3 things I've achieved today and 3 things I'm looking forward to. Here's todays.......

Achievements

1. Up and organised in time for my visitor, even though I considered jammies.....

2. Wee drive out and ice cream in portstewart.

3. I'll definitely go for a walk when Big Man gets home.

Looking forward to

1. Getting tomorrow over and done with!

2. Visitors on Friday and reflexology.

3. My sister coming over at the weekend.

Not so shabby really.........! Getting there xxx

By the way....... (and this is a little rude, but necessary!)...... I know you all wish me well for tomorrow. Please don't message/text/email me anything about it. I can't think about it. I need to keep my thoughts completely positive. I don't want another anxiety attack so no good wishes please. Feel free to make me laugh, but no talk of tomorrow please. Thank you! Xxx