Hugs not drugs

Last night I felt pretty sick....... probably a mix of a horrible day, tiredness, meds and that pesky brain tumour again....! I'd been given anti sickness tablets by my GP a week or two ago but hadn't taken any. Last night I decided I'd take one. Big mistake. I should've known..... they're essentially motion sickness tablets..... I've had those before and I'm not tolerant of them. I'm not tolerant of medications in general. Never usually take them! So I took one...... and was knocked out. I woke this morning and could hardly open my eyes. It was only then that I remembered that's happened to me before when I've taken motion sickness tablets. I was so cross with myself..... how could I have been so stupid??! Now I'm just exhausted and totally drugged up. I had to go back to sleep. Eventually I managed to drag myself awake, but I felt like crap. I couldn't shower or really do anything as I was so zoned out. Any of you that have followed this blog from the start will know that prescription medications have been very hard for me. I know I need them and I listen to the medical experts, but I hate them! I'm not used to them. It always bothered me to take anything more than paracetamol. Now all of a sudden I'm on a concoction of steroids and anti seizure medications. Fairly heavy drugs for someone who can't even take codeine because it makes me sick.

My dear friend was to take me to aromatherapy, but I just wasn't fit for it. She's a wonderful person who brought me lunch, let me have a cry, chatted to me and sorted out some other practicalities for me. My day would've been a very different day if she hadn't done that. I suspect it would've been spent crying and sleeping..... She kept me awake all day, managed to get me in a positive frame of mind and really just held me up..... as she's done so many times throughout this. I couldn't hope for a better person in my life. The day actually ended up passing quickly...... simply because she was with me, spurring me on, from lunchtime until 4pm. I'm still a bit emotional, but nowhere near as bad as earlier. I'm still a bit dopey, but again nowhere near as bad as earlier.

Tomorrow is the weekend! I've friends coming in the morning which will be lovely. Then my sister arrives. No better thing! I've a feeling it's going to be a really good weekend. I'll spend time with those I'm closest too. Plenty of relaxing but also good company and some time outdoors. The weather is supposed to be lovely too. Definitely something to look forward to!

The rollercoaster continues..... in so many ways...... physically and emotionally. As usual those around me hold me up. Showing me understanding, giving their time, dusting me off and reminding me I'm a warrior! In fact I got a lovely message from the daughter of one of my room mates in the Ward of Winners. I'd popped in to see her whilst in RVH yesterday and her daughter sent me a lovely message of encouragement and just pure faith in me. It was so nice - will be one I'll go back to if I'm struggling (I have a few favourites that I go back and re-read if I'm in a wee dip).  It's things like that that can remind me I'm a fighter and will keep fighting. Sometimes it can be the messages from people you know less well..... they can be the unexpected ones that give me a wee boost. I received one from someone I really don't know well on my second visit to RVH and it was so well timed it was incredible! It was simply a sincere message of support and it meant so much. I'm so lucky to get a mix of both - close friends and family literally holding me up, and a wider circle reminding me they care for me and that I can do this. And I can. I can because of the cage formed around me. 

Xxxx